Friday, December 31, 2010

2010

So...this has been a rough year. A lot of medical and personal hits. But first I want to start with my blessings. I have Jimmy. He is my rock and my heart. He makes me laugh through my tears and feel more loved then I ever thought it was possible. I have James. He is a joy and I am truly blessed to giggle with him daily. I have the most wonderful family. They are my strength and I don't know how I would make it through without them. I have amazing friends. So many of them are you Lovelies that are reading this. If you don't know...you are so appreciated and mean the world to me. I am blessed to have found you and made you a part of my life and my journey. Jimmy and I both have jobs. Jimmy even got a promotion that will kick in after the new year. One more step closer to Heather staying at home or going back to school :) We have an amazing home that it my refuge so many days. We have our furries, who may drive me insane so many days but are also the light of many a day as well.

Now the realities of the year. We had our second miscarriage. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (although Jimmy says that I am blessed it was diagnosed and we could get it taken care of). As well as being informed that I am one ding dong away from diabetes. Huge lifestyle change for me as a result. No sugar, no white carbs...but sadly no weight loss either. I was diagnosed with MS. Multiple Scorosis. Again my loving husband will say thank God it was diagnosed in such a bizarre way. As the result of an MRI I had done to check my neck plate after an auto accident. I was also referred to an amazing nuerologist. One of the best in his field for MS. So that truly was a blessing. And he is hopeful that the early diagnosis means that we might be able to keep it from developing into Stage 2. Fingers crossed. And luckily he feels that it was found early enough that I can continue my TTC journey (since it is almost at an end) before we start the meds. Which would not be condusive to pregnancy or the little one. We have not been successful with any of our treatments through the RE. However, we did get good results from all our tests. And the biggest blessing of them all. My grandfather giving us the money to try IVF. We will only have one shot. But it's a shot. We go for our seminar on IVF on the 12th. Then move forward with the process. I so wish it wasn't necessary to need that money, but I am so truly awed by his generosity. I don't think I can ever thank him enough for it!! And the saddest aspect of my year. The seperation and pending divorce of my parents. After 44 years of marriage my father walked away from my mother. For another woman. It's been a rough road. Two of my siblings have already turned thier backs on him. If he moves forward with marrying this person as the rumor has it, I too will be limiting my relationship with him as well. I can't get behind the cheating and lying (to my Mom and me..."we're just friends"). I told him from day one that he would always be my Dad, but that she would never be in my life. So if he does in fact marry her, it will be very tricky to continue to see him. I will talk to him when he calls. I will never cut him out of my life completely. But I will NEVER open my life to her. Just can't do it. Judge if you must...but it's the reality. So that has been a difficult decision. It's so scary to think of losing my Dad. But I can't support adultry. I had hoped that he was being honest and they were just friends. That he and my Mom would meet people after they had ended thier relationship. After they treated each other with the respect they deserve. That they would find happiness. But...alas...

So...that's the year in a nut shell. The good, the bad and the ugly. I hope that 2011 brings each and every one of you nothing but sheer joy and truimph. Mwah...kisses to you all!!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Presents

So Santa/Jimmy was very generous to me :) I got beautiful garnet butterfly earrings. A lovely page boy hat that I adore. And a frame for James' first four years of school pictures. I have to get the next set of four for next year...but it looks so cute all lined up...seeing how much he's changed and grown. I love it. Just have to decide where to hang it so that I can add the others as the years pass. Jimmy was thrilled with this presents from me/Santa. A pair of sketchers and his Dremmel set he has been coveting. And of coure James was spoiled as usual at all the houses and got more than he can handle. But I have to say that his electric scooter that he got from us is by far his fave. I don't think he would get off it if we didn't make him. I got home on Friday from work and Jimmy had put it together so that James wouldn't have to wait on Christmas morning. And I asked to try it. Jimmy yelled at me to take off my heels and put on crocs. I didn't think it was necessary, but obliged. It really takes off. Scared the crap out of me and I had every video of a Mom hitting the car in the street run through my head. But I did good. James, however...got on and was a pro. Turning and riding like he was born on it.

Christmas at Mom's was a different experience this year. No Dad and Mom not doing gifts or stockings. But as many of us as are local got together and brought tons of food and it was all delish. Then we played Bunco and had a ton of laughs. I felt horrible that Jimmy got his brother's head cold and was very sick on Christmas day. But he was a trooper. And it was wonderful being with family on both days. That's the best present any girl could ask for :)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas All...

Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope it finds you surrounded by the people that you love and more joy then you can handle :)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Village picture


So...here it is in all it's glory :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Gingerbread Village

So James and I do a Gingerbread something every year. A house, a tree, etc. He picked an entire village this year. Which for an 8 year old is too much to keep focused on. So to say that our villate look like crack row...would be an understatement. I let him do the decorating 100%. But to also say that he loved it (does every year :) would also be an understatement. So I guess it was a success. We had fun and it's complete and I will have to take pics and post them so you can all chuckle at our skills...or lack thier of. It's the journey right?

Monday, December 13, 2010

Tattoos

So...I got my tattoo addition on Saturday. The guy that did Jimmy's last re-work did my addition. He is amazing and a true artist. You give him the general idea...and he goes from there. He made the wings look a little too much like fire for my preference, although Jimmy loves it as is. I think I might have him add a little more color to them to make it more the "rainbow" I had in mind. And at the request of Jenny...I am including most of my other tattoos as well in the photos. I did not put my first one in there as it's in a more personal spot that only Jimmy sees. But it's an old school dove. Once I've have my pregnancy(ies) I will be covering it with two kois to represent Jimmy and I anyway. So for your enjoyment...


The cross that is also in the picture was done years ago with several of the women in my family in honor of my Mother surviving cancer even though she was given only a 5% chance. We all got the same image but on different spots. I have always hated it being a floater. So now my fairy completes it.

The butterfly was done with my little sister a million years ago while on Spring Break in Florida (before I lived down here). We decided to get a tattoo on our last day. You can see the hint of my sun/son tattoo on the side of my foot.

This tattoo was drawn (this is only a piece of the original drawing) by a friend the night before he died. It took me many years to be ready to do it. It originally was designed as an ankle "bracelet", but I changed to my wrist when I was finally ready. The day I got this done my Dad got his first (but certianly not his last) tattoo done at the same time.


This one was done so that James would always know...that even though I did not give birth to him, he would always be my first son. That is his actual signature :) I didn't ever want him to think that since our next child would be born to me that I love him any less then them.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Coming events...

So after I pick up James I am dragging him with me to get a pedi and possibly a mani. Was going to just do my toes, but then several of my nails chipped today. So I'm thinking it might be a sign...tee hee. Yes? No? We'll see. Tomorrow night is Jimmy's work Christmas party. They are having it at a hotel on the beach. Drinks, dinner and dancing. Then they got us a room so we can drink and not drive. I love staying in hotels. So I'm psyched about that :) Saturday we will have to get up and fly home. Take care of the dogs, eat something and then haul ass. I have an appointment to finally get my tattoo. I am adding a serene fairy to my cross that I got with all the ladies in my family to commemorate my Mom's cancer survival. Right now it is a floater on my shoulder. So I am going to ground it in a field of heather. With the thinking fairy sitting next to it and huge very colorful wings that will come up to and onto my upper arm. I am nervous and excited at the same time. I was supposed to do this with two of my sisters. But one backed out as she can not figure out what she wants to get. Then the other backed out due to funds (Christmas and a trip to the Bahamas will do that). But since I plan on being pregnant next month when she plans to do her's, I am going ahead and doing mine now. Otherwise I would have to wait 10 more months and I would rather not have to do that. So here we go!! I hope it comes out the way I am envisioning it. Fingers crossed. I'm going to the guy that did Jimmy's last tat and it is amazing. So I hope mine is just as beautiful. Then tats are on hold for awhile. I plan to get two koi to represent Jimmy and I to cover my hip tattoo after I am done with pregnancy(s). And once there is a child(ren), I will get there name on my like I have James'. And I think that will be enough ink on this body. So technically since the koi will cover my doves, it's not really a new tat, but a change to a current one :) And so the child(ren) name(s) will be the only addition down the line. I'm hoping I can handle 2 hours of pain. That's how long this is supposed to last. My foot was just short of an hour. But it was in a horribly painful location. When I got the cross done years ago it did not really hurt at all. So I am praying that the addition will be the same and I can handle it with no issues. But one way or another on Sunday I will have another tattoo. Yeah...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Update

I went for my first monitoring appointment for this cycle yesterday. All looked good. No cysts. Six good size follicles with three smaller ones on my left side and three good size and three smaller on my right. I do have some fibroids, one that is close to my uterine lining. Which is why my last period was so heavy. But she said it was nothing to be concerned about. So I started my second round of Femara last night. I called to set up my CD10 u/s for next Tuesday. The tech I had yesterday and the other girl my sister knows from her days at the imaging facility were both booked. They told me that Amy, the chick I had for my first CD10 u/s was available. Pam, my u/s tech from yesterday told me that if she was not available to tell them to talk to her and she would make herself available. So I did. I did not want Amy. She hurt and I found out that she used vaseline on the wand, which can be detrimental to TTC. And I don't need any more complications added to my attempts. So they called back a 1/2 hour later and told me that Pam would see me at 10:15 on Tuesday. To quote my sister, "See...it's not always bad to know me". Have to agree with her on this one :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

Well...

the bitch showed up. So I called my RE's office and am waiting to hear back. Everyone in my life is sugguesting I try another medicated/trigger shot month before putting my body through the rigors of IVF. So I am waiting to hear if my doctor is behind this plan as well and then go forward from there.

My little sister had her twin sons (yes...the same day I got AF...the same sister who announced her pregnancy the same time I lost my second pregnancy). They were born 6 weeks early, but are doing really well. Breathing on thier own. Waiting to see if they will eat and then if so...they will head home. They are adorable. So tiny (4.5ish lbs. each). The one looks exactly like thier big brother. It will be interesting to see if the other guy looks like them or not. Mom headed up there to help her out. If she is doing well after the new year, they are all going to come down here to see everyone and so Mom can continue to help her out. Her older son is only 2...so she's going to have her hands full.

We bought out Christmas tree yesterday. Got an 8 foot beauty. I can't wait to decorate it and get the house feeling more like Christmas. Jimmy put our new outside lights up and they look perfect. We have to get the rest of the house painted, but it's coming along. Will the work ever be done? I think not :) But that's okay...it keeps Jimmy busy...I just wish it didn't cost so damn much. It kills me every time he mentions his next "project". But I cringe and then work it out. James started his first weekend of chores. Did them like a trooper...hope the positive attitude continues.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Anniversary

So...Jimmy and I went to Tampa to celebrate our anniversary. It was perfect. We got to the zoo and had a grand old time walking around laughing at the animals. I had wanted to do the camel ride. Bought our tokens and got on line. Unfortunately it was like a kiddie pony ride. So we pocketed the coins for James and decided against that :) Got to the hotel and checked in. I had put in my reservation notes that it was our anniversary. So they upgraded us to a suite. A corner room with a view of the river. It was lovely. There was a wedding at the hotel and they were having cocktail hour below us. So Jimmy and I sat outside and enjoyed a wonderful singer. I'm sure he cost a pretty penny. Then headed out to dinner and a walk around downtown. We were going to try Thai...which we did for our appetizer. But both of us ended up having sushi. Mine was one of my favorites ever. Jimmy's was spicy for me. My mouth was on FIRE!! Went back to the hotel and just spent some time together. Got up on Sunday and headed down to the hotel resturant for some breakfast. Then headed home to claim James. I was so exhausted for some reason that I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I never do that. I would not change one single second of the weekend. It was perfection. I love you Baby...happy anniversary!!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Progesterone

bloodwork drawn this morning. Waiting to hear the results from my RE's office. She said I would be lucky if they had an answer by tomorrow. Next step will be a HPT. Or that bitch showing up!!

Monday, November 29, 2010

It's official

I have MS. I was diagnosed on Wednesday, November 24th. The day before Thanksgiving. So far I am feeling very calm about it. No panic, no freak out. Just acceptance. Other feelings may come later. I think the fact that it is not going to push our TTC back again. And that he told me that we will wait on treatment till we try IVF and finish the pregnancy after to start treatment. That he feels that it started 10 years ago with my double vision. 10 years. I guess it doesn't seem too scary knowing that I have already been living with it. I don't know. My little sister said that I was freaking her out with my calmness. My Mom called Jimmy to make sure I wasn't putting on a good front for her. I called my siblings and let them know. I told my Mom and my grandfather (who only cared that it was not going to affect us having a baby...got to love him :). I have not as yet told my Dad. I figured when I spoke to him on Thanksgiving I would tell him. But since he sent me a generic, mass text message. Not so much. So I have to do that in the future. I haven't told my work or my ILs. I just don't know how to say it to other people. It's strange. I'm sure it will come to me when the time is right.

Right now I am just exhausted from four days of eating carbs like they were being banned. I haven't been eating them at all, so this little binge of mine really hit me. I need to get back to being a good girl. Ugh...not good Heather. Jimmy and I went to Tampa and had a lovely weekend for our anniversary. It was perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. Thanksgiving was a wonderful day with family and food. Could not ask for anything more. Tomorrow I go for my progesterone blood work and then see where things are at from there. Moving right along!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy, Happy

Thanksgiving ALL!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Trying to remain calm

I have my nuerologist appointment tomorrow. The one with the MS guru. They just called to confirm my appointment. I am trying not to freak out. Trying to remind myself that if I do in fact have MS, I already have it. Freaking out isn't going to change it. The effects it will have on my body right now are things I am already dealing with. And maybe this will mean a plan. A plan to diminish them somewhat. A plan to prevent them from worsening. Maybe this amazing doctor will tell me that I don't have MS. Who knows? It's a mystery right now and I just need to be open to whatever it is he is going to tell me. I will have my amazing husband by my side. To hold my hand, hug me and see the bright side of whatever is coming my way.

Then it's Thanksgiving. I'm off Friday. Jimmy works. So I'll putz around and clean the house since we have Bart coming to hang out with the beasts. Yes, Jimmy and I are going out of town for the weekend. Celebrating the first stupendous year of our marriage. I can't believe it's been a year and then I can't believe it's only been a year. Granted we've been together a lot longer than that...but still. Crazy. Right now I'm debating whether to bring out cake topper with us or to have it when we return. Change my mind daily, it's the Gemini in me. I guess we'll see what my feelings are the day we head out. Could go either way!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

HSG

So I am finished with my HSG. It sucked donkey dick. But it's past. I have a titled uterus. Scarring on my cervix from my laser surgery in 1991 for cancerous cysts. But my tubes are clear and I am "normal". Never thought I would love being called that word, but damn it's a beautiful thing. Jimmy dropped off his SA this morning. Said it was super embarrassing as they kept yelling, is that the specimen? He wanted to die. Poor thing. Said the quantity was on the low side, so we'll see what they have to say. I got the results of my first series of bloodwork. My egg reserve shows that I do in fact still have eggs. Not many, due to age, but some :) All I can ask for at this point. My blood is clotting as it should. My progesterine was not as high as they would like it, so I see progesterine suppositories in my future. But what can you do? They are supposed to call me with the results of last Friday's bloodwork and Jimmy's SA by tomorrow at the latest. I thought it would take a lot longer, but am thrilled to hear answers as soon as possible. So far there is nothing stopping us from moving forward with the IVF after this cycle. I believe there is a BCP month before we do the actual ER and such. So maybe January? Pop went into his financial advisor and signed the papers to get the money. I can't believe that this is all moving so fast now. I'm terrified and so freaking excited. I have wanted to be pregnant for as long as I can remember. And that it might actually finally happen is so amazing. Jimmy put his hand on my stomach last night and said, "We might be there soon Babe." Really hit me. I think I had started to think that it might not be. That I might never get to experience those feelings. But now...I have hope again. Never thought it would cost me this much to bring this dream to fruition. But it might happen. IT MIGHT REALLY HAPPEN!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Crazy weeks...

So I work all week. And pick up James as usual. But this week and next week as well are going to be a little nutty. I'm like the 80 year who's life is all wrapped around doctor's appointments. Tonight I have physical therapy. Tomorrow I have my HSG ::bites nails::. Wednesday is physical therapy as well as Thursday. Friday I have my ultra sound. Which will hopefully lead to my trigger shot...fingers crossed. Right now to quote my husband, I am a pharmacists wet dream. I am on my normal meds (Valtrex that I will take forever for an eye infection and my hypothryoidism synthetic meds) and I am also taking Femara and an antibiotic for the HSG. I have such a time table of keeping track of morning vs. night meds. As well as trying to track down my injectable since the original pharmacy does not contract with my insurance. I talked to a very nice woman and am just waiting to hear back. Hope it gets here in time. Then next week I'm not sure what days my physical therapy will be on. But I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday. Wednesday I have my scary meet and greet with my nuerologist, the MS guru. I'm terrified of that one. Could change the whole course of my life in a few moments. That night I have my pre-Thanksgiving cook off at my Mom's. Not many of us this year. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Doing my Mom's early. More like lunch with us and my one sister's family. Then dinner at my ILs. We just have my SIL and us. And since the boys are not coming (SIL and her fiance split and BIL is with his new bride's family) we aren't even having turkey. We're having lamb chops at my FIL's request. It will actually be nice to not have turkey for two meals. Friday I get a day of rest. Then Saturday Jimmy and I are driving to Tampa for our anniversary. Staying over Saturday night and driving back on Sunday. Probably going to the zoo or aquarium on Saturday. Out to dinner that night. Staying at a nice downtown hotel. Breakfast on Sunday morning with a little walking around. Then back home to claim James. It's going to be insane...but hopefully that will be a nice "reward" for all the bullshit of these two weeks. Somewhere in there is the perfectly timed sex. And this week on Wednesday I have to nag Jimmy into dropping off his SA at the hospital. Fun times :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Primping

So I realized this morning that whenever I have any appointment for IF, be it the RE or bloodwork or a procedure. I find myself primping more than usual. I get a little more dressed up. Wear a dress, heels, the whole 9 yards. It's not that I'm trying to impress or attract anyone in the offices I am visiting. I think that this all makes me feel like less of a woman, so by gussying up...I am compensating. Silly, yes. But true. And it's funny. I have met so many amazing women during this journey. And never once have I had these thoughts about them. But when it comes to me...I feel "less" for not being able to do what other women do all the time. I think part of it stems from having a very fertile family. My mother had 7 children. My sisters have had children everytime they wanted. Even my SILs have been successful as soon as they decided they wanted to. So why not me? ::sigh:: Just the way it goes I guess. So I donned my pretty dress. Put on my highest heels. Double checked my make up and hair and set out to get my blood drawn this morning. I'm a freak, yes..but I look damn good...tee hee.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Plan

So I start Femara tomorrow. Take it through Tuesday. Tuesday I go for my HSG test. Friday I go for an ultra sound. At some point I will do a trigger shot. To try for perfectly timed sex. If this program does not work...our only option will be IVF. So we are working on the financing for that hugely expensive and completely OOP situation. Wish us luck!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

CD1

Yup...again!! So I put in a call to the RE's office to see what happens regarding meds and such for this cycle. I made an appointment for them to take another million viles of my blood on Friday morning. I have to call and find out about my HSG and where I can have it and how much it's going to cost and if I need to go back to the RE's office (an hour and a half away) or if I can do it locally. Have to find out where Jimmy can do his SA done. I had a major break down last night. Swollen eyes today for my troubles. You would think I would be used to it...but I'm not. It still hurts. I just feel so broken, in so many ways. Did not want to come to work today, but staying home was not an option. So here I am. Of course my car wouldn't start and I had to wait for Jimmy to turn around and come back. It was one of the connections on my battery was "loose". Not a big deal once he got there. But a major pain in the ass. And of course when I go to drop James off late, for the first time in the four years he has been in school, his class is at a choral assembly and I have to walk him to it and then try and find his class/teacher amongst the entire school. Fun stuff. But what can you do? And now I am gearing up to talk to my grandfather tomorrow about IVF funds and if he was serious about helping us. Otherwise we have to look into financing ::sigh::

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

"New" car

...well, new for me :) Thursday night Jimmy jumped on autotrader again and there was a new listing for a Infinity Q45 the car that we have been looking at. It was cream and the mileage was lower than any of the ones we planned to go and see in Orlando. So Friday I called the guy and kept in touch with him. I got out of work early and we started the 2.5 hour drive to the other side of Florida to view it. Ended up buying it. A quick stop at Ruby Tuesday's for dinner and then 2.5 hours back...this time in seperate cars. I chatted with one of my sisters to make the time go by faster. Saturday Jimmy detailed the hell out of the car and we got a license plate cover and a steering wheel cover and such silly stuff. Yesterday Jimmy took it to have it aligned. Now it is perfect. I love it!! Sorry Betsy, but it's time for you to retire and live the lazy life :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

::sigh::

Well, they found the lesions do extend into my brain. Not good I guess. And I guess this is not accident related. I am being referred to a nuerologist. A MS guru. I have not been diagnosed with MS, or anything else for that matter. But I guess they thought it was prudent that I see someone who might be able to assist me if that is the way things end up going. I started doing research on the disease and was shocked by some of the things that came up from my past/life that could be related to this. They could also have nothing to do with it. So now that I know what the disease is, I have stepped back from google and will wait till I meet with the doctor and then go from there. I really hope this does not affect pregnancy or TTC. I am trying to not let it get me down.

Saturday we are driving up to Orlando to look at two cars. Hopefully, one of them will end up being my new car. Not new from the factory, but new for Heather :) Which is the same thing as far as I'm concerned. I'm excited. Every time I get in Betsy, I think...not much longer girl. I'll show you pics should the car come to fruition. I'm excited that we are going to pay outright, so no additional car payment. Once we get rid of Betsy, we will be down to one super small payment for Jimmy's car. Not too shabby.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

More updates...

So I had my brain MRI on Monday night. It was truly horrible. They strapped my head down inside a box and then slid me into the MRI tube. Ran the tests then slid me back out and told me to remain still while they inserted the contrast. I had to guide her through my veins, left side...they roll...while I'm inside this horrible box. After she did the contrast...but not because of the contrast...I started getting really hot and thought I was going to be sick. Inside the box. Which started giving me a panic attack. I knew it was close to the end and didn't want to stop it and have to start from the beginning again. So I pictured my happy place...me very pregnant walking on the beach with James running in front of me. Chasing birds and running from the waves while collecting shells and Jimmy walking down to join us. And with that I was able to make it through and run to the bathroom after. It was horrible and I pray I never have to do it again.

RE appointment went as we expected/hoped/feared. Nothing indiates any issues at this point other than our age. Shocker..we're old!! Jimmy has to have an SA. I have to have an HSG and some other tests on CD 2-3 of next cycle as well as some fasting tests, which I can do at the same time. Then if all goes well with those we will do possibly Femara if needed from the results of one of the tests that required 8 vials of blood yesterday. Also had another dildo cam u/s. Love those. We will also do a HCG trigger shot and timed sex this coming cycle while we wait on the testing to be completed. If this does not work and all tests show we are clear...then we leap frog over IUI and go directly to IVF. And due to cost, and since we are OOP we would only be able to afford 1 cycle (if my grandfather is still helping us out...I have to go and meet with him and share the details and see where we stand)...so it's all or nothing..if it's anything at all. Scary, exciting and frustrating all wrapped into one messy TTC box. But that's the hand we've been dealt. If the IVF does not work. It's on to more indepth discussions about fostering/adoption and where we want to go from there.

The doctor thought Jimmy was Jewish since he asked if he had any history of Ty Sachs. There is a middle eastern heritage issue, but his family has no history. The billing chick was funny and was shuffling through her papers and I asked a question and she finally looked at me and stops and says, "You are SO cute". Which was a nice tension breaker. Then at the end she looked at Jimmy and said, "I see we are done here, he's got the completely glazed over look on his face." and she was right. He was so overwhelmed. But we snuggled last night and had a great talk about everything. On the way home we stopped to pick up James and bought Chinese to share with my Mom. It was a nice way to end the day.

November has been a long month already and it's only the 3rd!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Weekend...

My Mom had her garage sale on Saturday. She cried alot...but I got her to laugh a few times. I told her I felt like a one man show :) But I am so excited as I convinced Jimmy to let me take my grandmother's hutch since my Mom could not keep it. And so in the next week we will go and pick that up and the antique ice chest that I am getting as well. I can not wait. Sunday Jimmy and I rearranged our entire house getting ready for those pieces and setting up the pieces that his Dad had given us from his old partner's office. Everything is starting to look really finished and I am loving it. We moved our leather couch/chair set into the family room. We're giving Michielle (one of my sisters) our old couch from in there as well as an hour glass mirror and this huge sale boat. She will be thrilled. We still have to pick out a new dining room table. Got the chairs, but haven't found the "right" table. We just have to have the tim to look. And Jimmy needs to move the new desk in and I'll have to transfer the drawers over. Then it's just picking up the two pieces from my Ps' house and setting them up. Have not had the time to decide on what I want to put in the hutch as yet. Maybe my glasses, which would create some more space in my itty bitty kitchen, which is always good. Decisions, decisions.

On another note. Jimmy and I were talking in anticipation of our RE appointment tomorrow. Since we our OOP on anything that we do. We might suggest to the doctor bypassing IUI completely and moving directly to IVF. I have watched so many of the girls struggle though 5/6 IUIs with no success, but have seen so much success with the IVFs. And since my Grandfather is giving us the money, I would hate to throw away the chance at the funds for the IVF on IUIs that might not work. I think we might be better off to see if he'll pay for one IVF and see what happens. But we're whating on what the doctor says.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

::sigh::

I don't even know what to say in an update. My MRI results came back yesterday. Along with degenerative vertabrae between Vertabraes 2 and 7 (my fusion is for 6 and 7)...I also have lesions on my spine. I am now going back on Monday to have an intricate brain MRI done to see if they extend to the brain. I asked the nurse who called me some questions and she said, "I'm not the one to ask". Um, then should you be the one to call? I tried googling lesions, but it only made me more scared/freaked out. So I have stopped until I have an actual diagnosis. I heard from my nuerological surgeon who did my fusion, but he can't see me till December 10!! I asked the nurse if that meant that it wasn't serious and she said, "He hasn't even looked at your report, that's just our first opening". So if the brain MRI comes back "bad", I might have to go to another neurologist. I always tell Jimmy that he needs to take me out back and shoot me like a lame horse. The poor man got a lemon!! But he inssits on keeping me around. Got to question his sanity!! But usually I just thank God for his loyalty :)

So for those who have trouble keeping up with my out of control medical brew ha ha. That means I go for a brain MRI on Monday and to the RE on Tuesday. I believe I have a dental thing in there as well but it might clash with the MRI...I'm waiting to hear from the receptionist on that. Is my life ridiculous or what? Not sure how much more I can take!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Couple things

So...I have my MRI today at 4:30. Not allowed to eat anything more in 3 minutes. And of course, just to make things more fun and interesting. Because I have a plate in my neck they have to do contrast with the MRI. Meaning they put dye in my blood while they are administering the test. I've been told it makes you feel like you are peeing your pants (well, if you were in fact wearing pants). So that should be great!! Strapped down in a tube with bladder issues. Love it. But if it can rule out damage to another vertabrae it will be worth it. Still waiting for the insurance company to admit fault so we can move forward on that front. But Jimmy and I have decided that instead of repairing Betsy, we are going to get me a new car once we get the funds. I'm looking at Jettas and Mazda 3s. Can't wait...I haven't had a new car in 5 years :) One plus of this nightmare. We also got some furniture from my FIL's friend. So we are buying a new dining room table to go with the lovely new cushy chairs we got. I swear it was just an excuse for Jimmy to force me to go through our closets and attic and drawers. But it will benefit us as Mom is having a garage sale on Saturday, which I had already volunteered to assist her with. So we're going to put our stuff in it as well and hopefully make a few bucks. Bonus.

Here was my other excitement. Went to Kohl's on Friday night to buy James' "warm" clothes for the year since he is growing like a weed and does not fit in anything from the beginning of this year. I spend $205 and change on the clothes and a runners watch for Jimmy who is training for a marathon with his brother. The girl makes this big deal about marking my 3 hundred dollar bills I gave her as payment and giving me the Kohl's cash and when I can use it and such. She indicated that my change was with the Kohl's cash. So fast forward to Saturday and we are taking James to a fair to celebrate his wonderful report card and I try and pull my cash out so I don't have to carry a bag. I have none. Not a single dollar. I freak. Call Kohl's and talk to a manager. She says that they will get right back to me. Finally get a call while at the fair and this manager tells me that they have to review the tapes (thank God I bought Jimmy the watch and therefore was at the jewelry counter where they have cameras) and they will call me first thing in the morning. By 4 on Sunday still no word. So I go back to Kohl's and the manager tells me that the security guy doesn't work till Tuesday but they are going to try and get him to come in tomorrow (i.e. Monday...or today). So my phone doesn't ring in my office as it's a concrete cave. But I get a voice mail a few ago from said security guy telling me that I can come into Kohl's at my convenience and the manager on duty will have my "change". Yippee. I am so glad that it worked out and I did not through $94 out the door. Not when I am saving every cent so we can go and see my nephew in the Bahamas when his is done with his tour of duty!! Thank you Kohl's for being honest and still remaining one of my favorite places to shop.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Is it wrong?

So Jimmy and I had a little melt down "fight" last month. I felt like I was alone in this baby making business and he felt like I was just using him for his sperm. That he had lost his wife and partner and lover to psuedo quote him. It all worked out and I think brought us ultimately closer. But he shared that it's one of the reasons that he was pushing for starting with the RE. So that I would not be so focused on the every other day sex thing pre-O. So we see the RE on the 2nd, but I should O around next Thursday. A few days before. I have not been temping (I will probably take a "just checking" temp next week once or twice till I know I Oed) but I am not going to freak out and make this month another stressful sex month. With my injury I'm not even sure we can successfully have sex. But I think I'm going to try and see if we can work it in at least two or three times during the "right" time as I would hate to miss an entire month that could mean getting pregnant unassisted. Is that horrible? I think if I make sure I make it as romantic and non-pressured as possible that he should not complain. Right? It's not like he doesn't enjoy sex...he just doesn't like walking in the door and having me say, "Okay...let's go!!". I can't imagine why :) Men!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Accident updates

Emergency room for 5 hours last night. X-Rays of my plate to make sure it was not cracked or snapped from the impact. Thank God it was not. Doctor visit today to be set up for an MRI followed by seeing my surgeon. Physical therapy as well as muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories and pain meds. So much pain and all kinds of fun stuff. Waiting to hear about getting my car looked at. Hate driving it without the right turn signal. I feel so unsafe!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Yeah...fate hates me...

So I'm driving home from working late on Friday night. In traffic I normally miss. And the car in front of me stops due to the car in front of them stopping. I stop. The guy behind me tries to shoot into the right lane instead and doesn't do a very good job of it and nails the back left corner of my car with the front right corner of his. He left 27 feet of skip marks. That's how fast he was going. So we pull over and he yells at me, "What happened, didn't you see me?". Um. You were behind me and I had to stop. The car in front of me stopped. What would you have liked me to do. I asked if he wanted me to call the police. He told me to do what I wanted. Luckily a very nice lady (two actually in the same car) had witnessed it (they were in the car behind him) and stopped and waited till the police arrive. So the police come and since he was in his marine corp gear they did not issue him a ticket. They listed him as the #1 driver, which means he's the responsible party, but still. My nephew is serving in Afganistan right now, don't get me wrong...but I don't agree with this. If you did something illegal, you should get a ticket! End of story. No matter who you are. And can you believe that he had the nerve to call and try and put a claim against me on my insurance!!? I mean, for what? Did I hit reverse and leave 27 feet of skid marks hitting you? I don't think so. I guess he didn't realize that I'm married to an insurance adjuster. Or that he would know all the parties investigating this for the insurance. So Jimmy went and took pictures of the skid marks and location of the accident to show that I could not have possibly been responsible. And luckily the witness spoke to them as well and told them what had happened. That I was stopped already when he struck me. The vehicle adjuster measured my treads to show that it was not my car that left the skid marks. My car weights 6600 pounds and he was going fast enough to move it forward and sideways!! Pretty impressive, huh? Unfortunately it also meant that he hit me hard enough to screw my back up. I started having the pain and numbness I experienced prior to my surgery last year. So I contacted my primary doctor and my surgeon and am now waiting to see what sort of imaging I have to have done to see if they damaged my fusion up or if it's just residual pain or what. I am in hell and it feels like it is taking everyone too long to get back to me. I can't sleep again from the pain. And I am working overtime all week this week. Sucks. I didn't go to James football game yesterday because I was in so much pain, so of course, he got his first interception and touchdown and almost got another touchdown when he ran the whole field!! Yeah...fate hates me. I just can't figure out why. And now I have to tell everyone involved (per my insurance people) that we are actively trying to get pregnant and how this might hinder that process and/or pregnancy for me. I really don't want to share that with strangers (other than you Lovelies :)...but I guess it's necessary. Embarrassing...but necessary. Just what I need, more people pitying the poor freak who can't get pregnant. ::sigh::

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Yeah...fuck you...

temp drops and spotting!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Holy 90 years Batman...

My grandfather/Pop is turning 90 today. Holy crap. And he is still living on his own, golfing and bowling every week and driving his crazy ass around town. Now, mind you, I could retire if he paid me the money he forks out in "oops" driving incidents, but still. So my Dad, sister and I are taking him out to dinner. Don't have time for it...but how often does one reach 90? Love you Poopsie and hope there is 90 more in your future!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Crazy weekend...

Had our lovely dinner at my ILs on Friday. Really good time. Some wine, great food and plenty of laughter and convesation. James slept over and Uncle Marc and Aunt Nicole took him to his practice on Saturday morning. Get a call that Marc has cut himself bad enough to see bone and require a visit to the hospital. He was running the bleachers and slipped and wacked his shin on the metal bleacher. Poor thing. It was ugly. And his compassionate brother was taking pictures to send out while he is in pain waiting to be stitched. Real nice my husband. I ended up missing the football pictures and game on Sunday. But my FIL and BIL showed up so he had the boys there for him. Which is nice. Jimmy said that he played like a champ. He was very proud of himself when he got home. He and I had a lovely sword fight while Jimmy was out and about doing some errands. I had a horrible headache and my back was burning. So I was taking it easy and my hubbie was filling in for me. Man I love that guy!!

Friday, October 8, 2010

So the weekend is upon us...

Thank God!! I have to work late night. I will be working late about 1/2 of October. The extra money will be nice, but it's going to suck. Oh well...what is...is :) Jimmy and I are running after work to open new accounts at a different bank. We had been members of a local bank for a million years. Well Jimmy was a million, I was a few thousand. Then they were taken over by a conglomerate. They promised nothing would change. Same great service, same customer care. Bullshit!! They send us a new account number and some sample checks. So I get to toss out the money from my two boxes of checks I had ordered on the old account number. They announce the change over is in affect on Saturday the 25th. On Friday the 24th my old card is denied, and I don't have the new card. I was trapped at a gas station until DH could come and rescue me. I go to log on to the new website and it denies me over and over. I call customer support and am informed that someone at thier bank already had my sign on name, so they just assigned me random numbers. But never informed me. So I was about to choke them by now. We get our new cards and they are not embossed like a credit card but thin plastic that can/will snap if you put it in your pocket. It also can only be used as a debit, not a credit like my old card. Final straw. The old bank, if you deposited your pay check...regardless of at what time...it was the first transaction of the day. I inquired as to whether that would hold true with the new bank and was assured it would. $140 later I find out that it is not. In fact, they don't put your check through until the end of the batch day...so basically it is now the LAST thing of the day. So anything I put through that day like I had a million times before cost me an overdraft fee. Yup. So I call Customer Service and ask what is going on with all these fees. She explains and is so rude and condescending. I ask a question and she says, "I already explained that." to which I tell her if you explained it properly I would understand and not have to ask again!! Explain it better! By the end of the conversation I was screaming and cursing and then even threated physical violence against this girl. I have never in my life done that. But I wanted to punch her. Had we been at a branch, I honestly and truly believe that I would have hit someone for the first time in my life! Grrr.

After we run around taking care of our bank stuff. We have to cruise to my ILs for a birthday celebration for my BIL. He and his new wife are flying in for the weekend. So we'll go and spend some time with them. I'll finally get to give my MIL the bottle of wine I got for her at my wine tasting in St. Augustine. She left to take care of her Mom in upstate NY right after and this is the first time we are going to hang out since. So that should be fun. Jimmy is bring his Dad some Black Lager he keeps telling him about from Sam Adams. I really like to go home and chill on Friday after a long week. But what can you do. It is what it is.

Tomorrow I AM sleeping in. Come hell or high water I am. It might just get ugly if someone tries to change that on me. I need it. Bad. Just found out they are having an extra football practice on Saturday morning. James needs it. I'm crossing my fingers that since he is sleeping at my ILs on Friday night my FIL will take him and Jimmy can still go and work out and I can still sleep in. Sunday we have James' football pictures followed by his third game. Hopefully he is catching on more and will participate better. I hate seeing him stand there all lost. But the boys were so keyed up and spastic at Wednesday's practice, so we'll see how they do in the game. Coach said that last weeks team was one of the best in the league and they held thier own. Lost...but held thier own. They had two kids that were fast enough to play on a college football team. And this is 8 year olds!! But some started when they were 6...so they have an advanctage from playing previous years. He'll get there eventually!! Supposed to be going to a 1 year old birthday party as well, but don't think it will fit in and I'm okay with that.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Weekend...

So Saturday we had my Pop's 90th surprise birthday party. Biggest surprise was him showing up an hour early and shocking all of us!! But 45ish of his friends (plus 20ish of family) showed up. He walked around like a proud peacock. It was priceless :) Good food, good family and great times. We laughed like the old days. Three of us emptied my visiting sisters suitcase and put on all her clothes. She kept yelling at me to not stretch her shoes, hello...I wear 2 sizes smaller than you. Not likely.

Sunday we had James' second football game. A bunch of the family came to support him. Everyone yelled his name when he came on the field for the first time and embarressed him. That's what family is for, right? It was so sweet of them to take the time. Then we headed to Cracker Barrel for lunch with my in-laws. It was a good time. Followed by James and Mama doing the California poster project for school. It came out remarkably well if I do say so myself. But the cherry on my day was the police arriving for my next door neighbor and parking in front our house and then in my driveway with sirens going and lights blazing until almost 2 a.m. My husband snoring through it all made me twice as annoyed. So alittle tired today :)
I had a temp rise. Two more days of this and I get crosshairs. Yippee!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Some updates...

Jinx is eating. I swear he saw "the box"...the carrier he goes in to go to the vet and it scared him. Because the minute I placed it on the chair to get ready to pop him in for our visit, I turned around and he was chowing down. He ate again this morning twice before I left for work. You can already see the concaveness of body starting to fill out. And he is crying so much less. I'm sure the little bugger was starving. Thank you God. My prayers have been answers. I believe he will be fine now. Whew.

I got my RE appointment scheduled. It's going to be November 2nd @ 1 p.m. We have to drive an hour and a half for all our appointments. That's the closest "good"/recommended doctor we could find. But it will be worth it if the success rate is as good as it's supposed to be. I called my primary physician and my OB/GYN to have all prior tests/bloodwork/ultrasounds sent to him. They say it can be as much as $625 for the first appointment. But that is largely in part to an internal ultrasound. Well...I've had two of those done since December, so hopefully that won't be required again. She is going to call me the week before, once they have everything being sent to them and let me know the cost exactly. Fingers crossed it's alot less that that first figure. But it is what it is and will be what it will be. I'm praying that this cycle will be it for us and the RE will be unnecessary completely. But I need to accept that this next step may well be our only chance of successfully having a pregnancy.

I am so lucky that Jimmy is the kind of man who did and would take on full custody of his son. It's made not having a baby yet that much easier. Between the needs of James on our time and such keeping me busy...and the love I get from him. It's that much less difficult to be unsuccessful each month. I still want a sibling (or two) for him...and pray that becomes a reality soon. But in the mean time, I have my love to talk my ear off and cuddle in my lap on a bad day.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not sure why...

We've been having our house re-sided. It was supposed to take 3 days max. Four weeks later they finally finished and our garage is our own again. So Jimmy cleaned it up and for some unknown reason decided that after 4 years the garage should be for MY car!! He told me that he's been selfish for long enough and it's mine now. He even adjusted the tennis ball to my car size so that I would know where to stop when I pull in. And it is just in time for Tropical Depression 16 that has been slamming our town for the last two days. I'm not sure what caused this miraculous change...but I will gladly take it. I hate getting wet!!

So...I am praying that Jimmy feels better. He has been sick and so sexy time has not been happening as often as I think it should. It's our Hail Mary cycle and I should O any day now. So I am really going to try for things to happen tonight. I have dinner tonight at my grandfather's house. So it's going to be a late night regardless...but I am going to try and push through. I would hate to miss this last opportunity. I just need to know that we tried our hardest before we spend all that time and money on the RE and IUIs and possibly IVFs.

We are desperately trying to get our new kitten to eat. We got him and he was sick. Took him to the vet who said that it was a cold and there was nothing that could be done. He just had to ride it out. Everyone else that I have spoken to (including a cat specialist vet friend of mine who lives too far to be my vet) said that he should have been put on antibiotics. So it's time for a new vet I guess. But I'm not sure if at this point, when he seems to be past the cold/virus...but just won't eat, if it's worth taking him to another vet. My friend gave me a few "tricks" to try to entice him to eat. As well as a product we can buy. So I'm going to try that route and if no go...then I think I'll call and take him to a different vet. I just want him to eat...he would be so perfect if he would. He and the beasts are in love with each other. He lays with them like he's one of the dogs. It is so adorable. But he is getting thinner and it's scaring me. So fingers crossed that one of the tricks works and we can get him back to eating. I have never had a cat that wasn't fat. It's freaking me out!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Let's get ready to rumble...

James had his first football game yesterday. His team took a major beating. But he was awarded the Sportmanship Award after. So that was pretty exciting for him. I did a good deal of yelling and got burned. Just on my chest. The rest was covered by make up or clothes. Wish I had an umbrella. So we promised ourselves we would pick up two chairs (with umbrellas attached :) and remember to bring a cooler next time. First timers, what can you do? I have never been on the side lines, always on the field. But I have these oh so sexy tanned strap marks on my feet from my inappropriate shoes. Lovely. And have been called Red all day by the boys at work. Got to love them. We took him for ice cream after. Really sucked not joining him, I did however have to sample it to make sure it was safe before he ate it. First piece of sugared food to touch my tongue in 2 months. It was yummy. But not worth the consequences. That much I know. Also got an email from my co-Room Parent and she asked me to take on the "major" role with her for support. So I spent today finding volunteers for all necessary categories and making up email lists for the teacher and the two of us. I'm a big girl now...tee hee. In addition. I fried our stove. I mean, melted the inside...fried. Yes, you can do that. And I did it. Go big or go home, right? So we spent Friday night and Saturday morning going to every single appliance store. Ended up getting a beauty Frigidaire gas (I had electric before, so excited about this!!) with five burners. I'm in love. And Jimmy and I decided to make our Christmas/anniversary gifts to each other a new fridge...since it was our only non-stainless left. So that will be in a few months and my kitchen will be 1 step closer to be finished. Leaves just the cabinets to contend with. I can not wait!! Who knew that appliances would give me this kind of thrill? Certainly not this girl.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Scared and excited...

So it is finally time to set up an RE appointment. We had one in April. We had one in July. Each time a medical issue would require us to cancel. Then at my brother-in-law's wedding one of his friends who was recently married's wife and I were talking. She has twins from her first marriage. So I asked her if they were planning on having more together. Since it's sort of the same as Jimmy and I (and she is very close in age to us). She said that they were but that she had to go through IUI with her first pregnancy. I mentioned having to see an RE. She said if I was going to see the one in our town, to cancel. That he is horrible. She had gone to him 10 years ago and he did nothing for her. But waste her time and money. So I started researching. Unfortunatly this means I have to go to Orlando now. There is nothing closer. So I research and decide on the Arnold Palmer Hospital Fertility. It's a children's hospital so I figured that was a good sign. Call and am told that the doctor is moving further away from us. Okay. Research again. Find a doctor who has numerous wonderful reviews including one saying that a woman had 3 failed IVFs and then saw him and he got her pregnant on the first run. Good stuff. So I am going to try him. Almost afraid to call and have a problem arise and be back to square one. Also keep thinking...we'll try one more month. It's so expensive and I hate to go if it's not necessary. I know that at this point, unnecessary seems a little far fetched...but a girl has to hold onto the hope, no? Okay. So I called. The girl was very sweet. However they are booked until the last week in October. And that week my bosses' wife is out of town and I will be working long hours covering her. So I asked for the next week, the first week in November and they don't open that calendar until October 1st. So she has to call me back after the 1st. Are you kidding me? What is going on? Maybe God is telling me to wait...or maybe I just want to believe that and it's just life happening. So I am going to see him the first week in November, I just don't know which day yet. I'll know that next Friday. In the mean time...since I can't get in for that long, we will try on our own for one more month (I guess I get what I wanted anyway, huh?). Our Hail Mary month so to speak. I end my period tomorrow. So we start our every other day marathon then. Have to start coming up with some fun and exciting and different approaches to keep it fresh for us. After this month...I don't believe we will have to worry about all that. I believe the IUI will be scheduled and a cup involved for Jimmy :) I am so nervous of the cost...but thank God my grandfather has offered to support us on that front. So I guess I need not worry. I just hate asking for something that huge from him. But he insists...he wants to help make this happen. I am so blessed!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Introducing...

Master Jinx. The newest addition to our family :) Or as he is known by James, "HI Jinx"...which I belive he has said 14 million times already since he arrived last night. He is a 4 month old Siamese mix that is so freaking cute. This morning Jimmy called him and he trotted along behind him into the bedroom and I wish I had it on video. It made my heart flutter. I was in love!! The beasts are very curious about him...but since they would make him an appetizer if they so desired, we are keeping a little distance between them. I have numerous puncture holes in my neck and back from this expedition. But he is getting more comfy. If the dogs are outside for any reason he loves to explore. He has claimed the back of the family room couch as his safe place since they aren't allowed on the furniture and therefore can't get to him there. He curls up in a ball and sleeps there. It's adorable. I tried to get his amazing bluish eyes in the pic, but he kept blinking from the flash. So more pics to come in the future...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Some changes

So I've decided that my blog is BORING!! I am bored by it...and it's my life...so you have got to be mind numbed by it. Little blurbs about what is going on. Really Heather? That's all you've got? I think you can do better. So here goes my first more indepth look at my life. I got cross hairs and am 5DPO today. Had a temp dip yesterday. Super early for me to have that. But then again I Oed super late for me as well. So not sure how that all works out. I have been the nap queen lately. Started doing it when my thyroid was out of wack and have been loath to give it up. So I continue to take one every Sunday and Saturdays when I can. Love it.

Yesterday I went to church for the first time in a long time. I used to be a every week girl. Volunteered in numerous capacities. But I think when things started going down hill with IF and such I lost that loving feeling for God. I know he has a plan, but I can't say that I'm behind it at this point. I just want to be pregnant. Is that too much to ask? Apparently. But I was a reader yesterday, so I had no choice. I attend the contemporary service. The traditional AAAAAAA-A-Men services make me nuts. I have a hard time suffering through them at holiday services when I have no choice. Our Pastor has recently asked that all people at that service sit in the two center sections and leave the two outer empty. I'm sure sure why. So for the first time in 7 years at this church I sat in a different spot. Still deciding how I feel about it. I'm away from the annoying kids that I want to smack every week, so it's not all bad :) My Mom broke down during the service and I spent the rest of the day wanting to punch my Dad for doing this to her. In case you don't know what I am referring to...he left her after 44 years of marriage with no explantion or desire to work on things. I've seen her cry more in the past few months then my entire life combined. And it sucks. Breaks my heart every time. And all I could do was sit there and hold her hand and cry with her. So Jimmy, James and I took her to breakfast. Had a great time. After James went to Nani and Pa's since he is off today and Nani is not a morning person. So Jimmy decided to see Resident Evil and Heather...got a nap :) Tee hee. Shocker. Even James predicted it when asked where I was. Shameful I know...but I have no regrets. And insanely it does not negatively affect my night sleep. Guess I need them!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Major...

Sneaky sex fail!! We were on an air mattress in a room not much bigger than the bed. And my cousin does NOT sleep. So sex was out of the question. But luckily I haven't Oed yet, I figure the stress of the weekend delayed it. So ::fingers crossed:: we are not out as a result.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Stupid song...

I can NOT get this stupid children's song "Mama's little baby loves shortening, shortening. Mama's little baby loves shortening bread." out of my head for DAYS now. It is making me crazy. Especially since Mama is what I am called and I am not allowed shortening :) But really...make it go away...pretty please!!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sneaky sex

So I am now officially planning how to have sneaky sex at my cousin's house while we are there for my BIL's wedding. I will most likely ovulate while we are there and I am not throwing a month away. So, let's get it on....on the sly...should be interesting!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Silver Lining

So I had a major temp drop this morning. I assume AF will arrive by the end of today, tomorrow morning at the latest. I am attempting to stay positive and find the silver lining in it. We leave in 2 weeks for Marc's Manhatten wedding. We are staying with a cousin on mine. So I will now be able to drink and party for the whole weekend instead of being the designated driver. I'm sure Marc's liquor will be top of the line...so I might as well indulge!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

All is as it should be...

and I am terrified!! I had a lovely little dip at 7DPO and then a temp spike. And a spike that brought me higher than before the dip. I want to be hopeful but am so scared to be. I want to put my hand on my belly and imagine...but I am so afraid. Mostly of that morning I wake up and the temp is down. AF down. And then I just wait for the inevitable outcome. But then I think...what if...this time is different?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Oh yeah...

we have thermal shift...we have cross hairs...we have ovulation!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

woot woot

One more temp like this morning and I get cross hairs. Meaning I ovulated!! I can not tell you how excited I am about that simple fact. Something I took for granted when I started this journey. I've got my fingers crossed of course...but this alone is a huge success :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

So afraid...

to get my hopes up. But so far...it looks like I just might O this month. I should know in the next couple of days if I am correct :) Fingers crossed...check. Prayers said...check. Sex...check. Come on bod...do it for me!! I have faith in you...

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Moving on...

So my thryoid level was back in the "normal" range. My sugar level was higher and they are getting very concerned about diabetes. So they are sending me a diet that they recommend I follow. I swear everything fun is taken away from me. Add carbs to the list. It's too long to list. But I started temping again this morning. Anxious to see if my cycle is back on track. I leave next Friday for Maryland to see my girlies. I am so excited. But it means we have to get in as much loving as we can before I go and then pick up as soon as I return. Fingers crossed it doesn't affect our timing. Let the games begin :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Follow up bloodwork...

So it's been 6 weeks since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and started my meds. Today I went for my follow up blood work. I actually am crossing my fingers that they say the meds aren't enough and are upping them. I still feel the side effects. Lucky me...basically the early "signs" of pregnancy without the pregnancy fun :) So I hope if they up them then I will finally start to feel better. Fingers crossed...prayers to God...whatever I need to do. I just want to feel good again. I want to put on jeans without the bloat. But first I had to go in and have three ladies poke me and prod me and poke me some more so my rolling vein would give up the blood they so desperately needed. I already have a bruise. I'm dying waiting on the results. Here's the perfect anwer in my mind. The doctor calls me today and says that they are upping my meds and they are already called into the pharamacy. This way tomorrow I can start the higher dose and ::prayers said:: start feeling like a non-exhausted, non-bloated, not nauseous, non-cranky human again. Jimmy said he wants his sweet wife back. I know she's in there...I just don't think we've seen her in awhile. Come out...come out...where ever you are!!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It's all a guessing game

So...do you think I Oed this month? Would love to know...but have no idea!! I go back in two weeks for my follow up blood work and find out if the thyroid meds have brought my level to normal range or if I have to have my meds upped. Then the doc said it could be a few months till my cycles regulate and I start to O and have AF normally. But AF seemed pretty darn normal to me this past month. Could I be lucky enough to have it all swing back so quickly? Fingers crossed and prayers that is the case!! Maybe next month I will start charting again so I can see what is going on if anything. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

One Month

from today I fly out to see my two best girlies. I can not wait. And this year we are hitting OC, Maryland. Our old stomping grounds from our 20s. Trouble with a capital T. I'm sure we won't hit the same tourist spots we did when were young...or just maybe we will!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I think this is Cycle 21

But really, I've lost count. I got what seems to be a pretty "normal" AF flow. So fingers crossed that the thyroid meds are working and getting me back to a good place. Don't get blood work done till beginning of August, so I'm going to assume that it's working and Jimmy and I will get back to every other day near my normal O time. Figure it can't hurt to do everything on our end. Then if the meds are working we actually have a chance. We don't try...no have no possibility. So here goes nothing!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Clueless...

So I have NO idea where I am in my cycle. If I'm even going to have a "cycle" this month. For kicks and giggles I took my temp this morning. 97.5. Means nothing to me. Could be the drop just before AF. Could be anything really. So I just cross my fingers and pray I don't get AF for Friday/Saturday's water adventures with Donna and her family. That would really suck. So...do you think I'll get my period or will I spot again...thoughts...feelings...sentiments? Anything? Is this thing on? Anyone?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

More updating

So I saw the doc on Friday. Hypothyroidism and borderline diabetic. So I was put on a low dosage of the thyroid meds and have to be blood tested in 6 weeks. If not okay then, they raise the dosage and retest me in 6 weeks, and so on. Not sure when my cycle will get back to normal. I hope that happens pretty quickly. Jimmy has become a diet and fitness natzi now. Keeps telling me it's just because he wants me around for along time. But it's mucho annoying when I am exhausted and/or in pain. He's pushing me to do something physical every day. Rollerblade, ride bike, walk, wii, swim, sex...something. And he is all over me about cheating on my no sugar program I've done forever. I also have to go psuedo-Atkins with carbs. I figure when I cook I'll use wheat products and spinach pasta, etc. But when I go out or somewhere I will just eat and not worry about it. I guess I have to consider the positive side and figure I will probably lose some weight or at least tone up and slim down. It will be interesting to see where I end up :) So fingers crossed my levels are good at the beginning of August and my cycle goes back to "normal". Don't think I'll ever complain about my pretty but uncooperative chart again!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Update

So I had my uterus water ultrasound and vaginal ultrasound yesterday. First I get to the office and have to walk through the pediatric office and see all the little children playing. Then it must have been ultrasound day for all the expecting moms. Everyone and thier Mother (literally) were in the waiting room. So I sit in the crowd and try not to look at the bellies as I read my conception magazine. Till this voice next to me says, "When are you due?" Had to try and not cry as I explained that I am not. Then go in for the ultrasound and the tech pulls up my last one and asks me when that was and why and I explain it was done while I was miscarrying. She tries to close it out quickly with several apologies. So the good news is that all my lady bits are as they should be. The b/w showed that my progesterone level was good. My uterus is as it should be. No un-natural thickening. My ovaries are good, the tech even said that they are the exact same size, which is rare and extremely good. But the bad news is my lining is super thin. Meaning that the thryoid issue is preventing me from ovulating. So pregnancy right now is simpley out of the question. Until the thryoid is back on track...we are at a stand still. So I have to cancel my RE appointment as a result. Nothing they can do till my levels are back to normal. And I guess a normal range is 2.0 to 4.3 and I am at 7.9. So almost double the high end of the range. Not good I'm sure. I did have a teeny tiny cyst, but it appeared to have already burst. So she did not think it was a problem at all.

So now we wait till Friday and see what comes from that. I hope it's as simple as taking a small and inexpensive pill and I'm back on track in record time. Thinking I might try on our own once this is handled to see if that truly was the problem prior to seeing the RE. We are going to have to pay OOP for everthing, so it might benefit us to try alittle first. We'll see.

We did have two sweets things occur recently amongst all this crap. Our families were over for James 8th birthday on Sunday. My grandfather comes up to me and says, "If you aren't getting pregnant on your own, is there a special doctor you can see to help you about that, or is that just it?" So I explain about REs and that I have an appointment coming up (this is the day before the thyroid results so I was still on in my mind at the time). I explain that it's very expensive and we have been pushing it back since we really can't afford it. He tells me to keep him posted, but that if money is all that is keeping him from his great grandchild, then I'm to forget all about that and he will make it happen. I was so shocked and touched I burst into tears. Then Jimmy and his Dad were talking yesterday and he asked him about my appointment and if I was sick. Jimmy explained about my thyroid. His Dad asked if it was affecting us getting pregnant. Jimmy explained that it was. So his Dad tells him, "If it doesn't happen for you, you know you can always adopt. And we will absolutely help you to make that happen!". We are so very blessed to have these amazing and generous people in our lives!!

I also had a little sad moment last night. We were watching Dog the Bounty Hunter of all things and the daughter goes into labor. Jimmy got teary eyed and said he couldn't watch it and left the room. Sometimes I forget that it's not just me who is hurt daily by all this. My sweet husband is suffering as well. It breaks my heart even more!!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

::sigh::

So the temp drop and flat line and non-recalled temps were actually my body going nuts. Those temps were accurate!! So I ended up at the OBs office yesterday. I truly believed that I was pregnant. Everything about my body was saying I was pregnant except those damn HPTs that kept saying NEGATIVE. Bastards. So I broke down and went in to to have a beta done. She also examined me and scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow to check for cysts. But in the meantime she took a ton of blood. I guess checking for some other things as well as the beta. So I find out today that my thyroid levels are elevated. Which can cause ALL the symptons I have so lovingly assumed were pregnancy symptoms. It can also affect me staying fat even when I am good and work out and eat right. It can explain the exhaustion. The emotions. It can also, sadly and most frustratingly cause me to not get pregnant. I just want to cry again and again and again!!

I really am starting to think that my body officially hates me. I think it gets up in the morning and holds a meeting. Each body part announces thier status. Eye...on meds thanks...good to go. Back...had surgery...good for now. And then if no one is signed up for that day to have problems someone volunteers. Because apparently we can not have all systems working at the same time. I guess the thyroid spoke up first this time. I told Jimmy that we should just take me out in the backyard and shoot me like a lame horse. I have outlived my usefullness. He told me I had to stick around long enough to get a good insurance policy in place first. You've got to love that man!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Huh answered...

So I figured out that the low temps were due to a flat lined thermometer. I bought a new one. It's supposed to have last temp recall. But if I don't check it right away it tells me 97.7, my test temp when I first bought it. Stupid pieces of crap. Guess someone is trying to tell me to take a temp break, huh?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Huh.

So I took my temp this morning and it was 96.80. In the 19 months I have been temping it has never been this low at this point in my cycle. In fact I have never seen that number outside of my O day. I am dying to see what happens next!!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

8DPO

Half way through the 2ww. I'm torturing myself with testing or not on Friday, 11DPO and ::sigh:: my 38th birthday. Not sure how I feel about it...guess I'll just have to see how I feel that morning. My temp is way up. Jimmy is still asking me every day about my temp and what it means. He's so cute :) I love this new, involved husband. God, I love that man!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Temp up...

So last night might have been the last night of our sexual Olympics. I'm so proud of Jimmy for so actively participating this time. Not leaving it all up to me. We had some really fun and crazy sex. I would have to say that our sex life is getting better and better. IF is not going to spoil that for us. I love him too much...and thank God we enjoy each other too much :) But man, I'm exhausted. Last night I told him to get in the room and make it happen. That I didn't have the energy for anything but a quicky. 30 minutes isn't what I would call quick...but we got the job done. My temp rose this morning. So we have done all we can do...let the 2ww begin!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

Coming back into the light...

I've been struggling hard lately. First. In April, I had my second miscarriage. Jimmy and I decided not to tell anyone. I think for me, I could not handle all the "poor Heather" looks again. I felt like everyone knew the first time and it was so horrible. But then the following month. I get my period. The same day, my little sister calls and tells me she is pregnant with her second. And she is due almost the exact say day I would have been. That was a tough one. I slipped into a dark place for awhile there. And everyone thought I was just upset that I had not gotten pregnant that month. Ah, the irony. And while all this is going on. My Dad, after 44 years of marriage...leaves my Mom. Walks right out the door. I guess there has been an affair going on for a year now. I can't wrap my mind around it all. I feel some days like a hero died. I feel so bad for them both. I know I shouldn't feel bad for my Dad. He made these decisions. He put us all in this place. But he's my Dad and he's sad. And I hate seeing that regardless. My little brother told him he will never speak or see him again. Saturday was Mom's birthday and he stopped by and it was so painful to watch. I had to walk away. My life has changed and I just have no control over it. It's just plain horrible and I hate it.

But I had a lovely weekend with a perfect date night on Friday. Some special time with Jimmy on Saturday morning. Then got to spend the day with my Mom for her birthday. Jimmy and James joined us for dinner as well as some other family. We had the most delishious Chinese/sushi dinner. I am still enjoying it in my head :) Sunday James and I joined my Mom at church. Then I got to take a nap while the boys saw Iron Man 2. We headed to the library for bedtime reading material and finished up with some family time at home. It really renewed my spirit and started me back onto a better path. I'm walking in the light again. It's a beautiful view...

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dear God

Hi. Heather here. I know that you are aware that I have short LPs. And my temp went up again. So testing this morning was not unreasonable. CD11, right? The BFN sucked. Not doubt about that. But, does having my period show up late...so that she arrives right on Mother's Day seem necessary? Are the dramatics really required? My life is tragic enough right now. I don't think this was really called for, no disrespect intended. You know I love you. I know they say that you are only given what you can handle. But I think you have too much faith in me. I would really love to be able to at least take a little breathe. Pretty please and thank you? Just a quick one? I would really appreciate it. Hugs and kisses. Amen.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

Awesome day...

yesterday was one of those just perfect days :) Jimmy and I went to church and then to have lunch with my Mom. Headed home. I took a nap and he picked up James who had been keeping his Dad company overnight. We decided to go bowling and James almost beat me in the first round. He was loving that!! After had a treat and got KFC (we never eat fast food) and then headed home for James and I to make our own croutons. I had made them with my Mom once and told him about it and he's been asking me ever since. We had so much fun doing them. It was awesome. And now tomorrow when I make chicken ceasar salad for dinner, we will be serving it with the usual fixings and our own croutons. So fun. Then we just chilled and spent some quality family time together. It was lovely. I could not have asked for anything more!! I love my boys...

Friday, April 16, 2010

New month, new plan

CD3. So this month I am not even going to temp. I am going to have some fun with my husband when and if we feel like it. Just like normal couples. It's not helping when I obsess and plan and plot and figure. So I'm going to just see what happens and at some point we'll see a doctor. But in the mean time I'm going to enjoy...my husband, my son, my life :)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Low temps...

So I took my morning temp on Saturday and it was super low. Low even for pre-O and I was 7DPO so that was strange. Decided not to temp on Sunday and wait till my normal week day waking time to see if that would be different. Temped this morning and the same temp. So I waited till I was up for awhile and temped. 96.50 and then 96.48 an hour later. According to google the only time you should go below 97 is if you have hypothermia. I do not have that. I live in Florida and it is in the 80s. But what is going on with me? Hmm. Only time will tell.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

CD17

I have never seen that on FF before. I have been charting for 18 months and for 18 months I have Oed on CD12. So by CD17 I am officially 5DPO. I had short LP lengths off and on throughout that first year. But always Oed and always on Day 12. So this is weird. New and strange. I got a slight temp rise this morning. But even playing with my chart and putting in high temps tomorrow on I don't get CHs. I have never not gotten CHs. Hmm. I wasn't even going to temp this cycle. Just was doing a spot check on what I assumed would be 1DPO and my temp was super low. So I started temping as that was a strange thing. So I am still temping several days later and just got a little bump this morning. Still not real high for me. I think I'll temp tomorrow and maybe Wednesday to see (in my mind, not FF's) if I think I Oed, just later than usual. Then I'm going to just "be" until AF shows. I'm not stalking my own chart...and if there isn't any info in it to stalk, I won't be tempted. If my temp doesn't go more up or stay up on those two additional days then I'll know the whole month is a scrap, and possibly my first annolavory cycle. Either way, I'm going to let AF surprise me :)

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Monday, March 29, 2010

Clearblue Easy OPKs

That's my new try. I tried the cheapie ones that Heather sent me and never got a true positive. So I got frustrated with them. Then MSC sent me her OV watch, but it can't read me. So I got really frustrated. But I have decided to continue trying rather than just throwing my hands up. So I am trying Clearblue Easy digital OPKs. I used it for the first time this morning. CD9 and got an open circle. Meaning negative. Which I expected. What I pray for and continue to remain optomistic about is some day getting a smiley face and knowing that it worked for me. That would be so exciting in itself :)

I had an amazing weekend with Jimmy. I think having that time just us two and having so much fun with him has made me a little less afraid of that being our future. Not having any more children then James won't be the end of the world. If we don't get pregnant. If we are too old to adopt. If we decide against fostering. I would be okay with just us. Just the three of us as a family....I can be happy with that. I can find joy without pregnancy or a baby of my own. I can love the life that has been put before me. I can and I will!!

So on that note. I have canceled my RE appointment and I am going to focus on the family that we already have and making that the best it can be. And when the time is righ I'll know it and I won't be hemming and hawing daily about it. I'll know and I'll do what I have to do and we'll see where it takes us at that time. I must be at peace with my decision as my eczyme has started going away. A good sign...a good sign indeed :) As good as the smiley face sign? Hmm...interesting question...

Friday, March 26, 2010

Can't say I dig...

the me I have been lately. I am frequently sad and often annoyed. I know where it's coming from. But I still don't care for it. For some reason this last month's lack of pregnancy hit me really hard. I had truly thought that I was pregnant. Don't ask me why. I guess a combo of the stomach bug I had and me being insane :) But anywho. I did and AF was a major slap in the face, especially coming early. Followed the next day by the announcement that my co-worker (who is a teenager and has a 5 month old) and his wife were pregnant again. That hurt. And that's one of my frustrations. If I was James I would tell you that I was 37 and 3/4s. So I'm no spring chicken. And I have always loved pregnant women. And adored children. Always. I am the baby whisperer. I love them and they love me. And I've lost that spark. That excitment. And I hate that. It's not been helped by the fact that his wife has stopped in every day this week since he told me. Even brought her adorable sister and her equally adorable 2 month old daughter. Yeah. I think they even made a joke about surrounding me with babies. Lovely. I couldn't muster up more excitement than inquiring as to her baby's name. Not my usual mode. I used to even look forward to this particular little boy coming to visit me. I have my brother and his 4 month old coming next month and I had been so excited. Can't find that excitement anymore. And since Jimmy is in the "relax, it will happen...don't think about it" boat...talking to him is futile. I think he even gets frustrated as he wants to fix it and he can't. So he gets annoyed when I cry or share my fears/concerns. Don't get me wrong. He is there for me always. But the emotional end of it makes him feel useless. So I try not to bring it to him. But that's hard too.

And another big part of these feelings is I am terrified. My left arm has started hurting and going numb. I just had surgery for this in October. Really? Can't I get a freaking break? Originally as I had a bruise as well we thought maybe I knocked it really hard and it was just bruised and irritated. But as more time goes on and it continues to be numb and hurt. I am truly terrifed. I don't even know if I call my surgeon or my regular doctor or what. I just want to crawl up somewhere and cry. And as an added bonus. Due to being so stressed, I assume about this whole not getting pregnant thing, my egzyme has come back. Not full force, but pretty good. Jimmy calls it Jungle Rot. Thanks hon. Love you too. I just need to snap out of it. Get back into a positive routine including working out and eating healthier. I might think about finally learning how to quilt. I have always wanted to and I got a sewing machine for Christmas. So the only thing stopping me is me.

I've started thinking alot about the future and other options for us. Fostering...adoption. Right now I am going to focus on getting our financial situation in a better way. I think in about a year we should be able to look at my working part time if we want to go that route. And that will open up alot more options for us. Whether we take advantage of the available funds or the available time. We'll be able to do alot more. But my biggest fear here is that we are not getting any younger. And pretty soon, we won't be eligible to do anything that requires the "system". But I guess we'll cross that bridge when/if we have to. I'm just trying to open my mind to what is out there and what means we might end up building our family through. Open mind...open heart :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

Bitter...

CD2...fvck...yeah :(

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Half way...

through the 2ww. I'm still having weird temps. But I truly remain extemely optomistic :)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Faboo...

that is my mood this ugly, overcast and yucky day. Woke up feeling lovely and am running with it. Got cross hairs. I'm 3DPO right now :) So fingers crossed. Getting pregnant this cycle would mean saving the RE money for the pregnancy/birth instead. Which is how I would much rather spend the money. Jimmy dropped a bomb on me. Told me that it might be him. Huh? You have James...how could it be you? He said that him and Trash Bag were not avoiding for 3 years before she got pregnant. Hmm. Interesting. Not sure how or why...but I seem to have found my hope again. Thank you...I certainly missed it. It's a good friend to have around and I am thrilled to be surrounded by it again. How about you? Still have hope with you? No...come stand a little closer to me...I'll share mine!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Losing hope...

So I've been feeling like it's never going to happen for us. I think making an RE appointment and then wanting to cancel it every 5 minutes since it's going to cost us a fortune we don't have has not been helping. We watched a show this weekend that had IF in it and I broke down in tears and asked Jimmy what would happen if I could never give him a baby. He of course was his sweet self and told me that he married me because he wanted me, not a baby. That I will always be enough for him and a baby would just be a bonus. I guess since he's already a Daddy, it's not so scary thinking it won't happen for us. I know he wants a child together, and maybe that will mean adoption for us...only time will tell. I've always had faith, but I am losing hope.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Recipe Time


Tuna Dumplings

1 (6 oz) can tuna, drained
1 egg
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 can condensed cream of broccoli soup
1 (12 fluid oz) can of evaporated milk
1 (8 oz) package refrigerated crescent rolls

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

2. In a small mixing bowl, combine tuna, egg, thyme, cheese, and salt. In another small bowl, mix the soup and milk together.

3. Flatten the crescent rolls one at a time. Place a small amount of tuna mixture on each roll (I divided mixture into 8ths). Fold over and seal edges.

4. Arrange stuffed crescent rolls in glass lasagna pan. Pour the soup mixture over the rolls. Bake in oven for 30 minutes.

Monday, March 1, 2010

OV Watch fail

So I got AF on Friday. Jimmy and I grabbed the OV Watch and read through the instructions. We insert the sensor and put the watch on. I hit the buttons it says and nothing. So Saturday morning Jimmy runs out and gets me a new battery. Comes home and puts it in. Try again, and bam...power!! So we put it on and program it for my CD2. Run the test, and it says NOT READING. We try every "trick" in the book and NOT READING. We try my other wrist, NOT READING. I try moving around and cleaning with it on. NOT READING. So Jimmy tries "playing" with the back and sensors. We try again. NOT READING. So I try calling Customer Service, the next step if you continue to get that reading. And of course, they are closed for the weekend. So I can't reach them till Monday, CD4 and one day too late to start the watch this cycle. HAH!! It just figures. This is why I never get excited about anything beforehand. Oh well. Maybe next cycle.

Friday, February 26, 2010

CD1

So on to Cycle #11 over a 18 month span. But I am looking on the bright side and excited to try the OV watch that the lovely MSC sent me. I hope it brings me the same amazing luck it brought her and I'm KU in one cycle!! Fingers crossed and watch on!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Recipe Again

Tuna Stuffed Shells. This one I have some nutritional info as well. 6 Servings. 270 calories a serving. 8 g fat. 34 g carbohydrates. 16 g protein.


18 jump past shells
1 can (6 oz) light tuna in oil, well drained
1 cup fresh white bread crumbs
1/4 cup finely chopped onion (optional)
1 large egg
1/4 cup minced fresh parsley
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 can (10 /4 oz) condensed cream of celery soup
1/2 cup of milk
2 Tbsp grated Parmesan
Parprika (optional)

Heat oven to 350. Lightly coat 11x7 or larger baking dish. Boil pasta as package directs until just firm-tender. Meanwhile, mix tuna, bread crumbs, onion, egg, half of parsley and the lemon juice to blend. Drain past shells. Rinse gentley to cool, drain. Fill each shell with 1 Tbsp tuna mixture. Place in prepared dish. Whisk soup and milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until hot. Remove from heat; stir in remaining parsley. Pour evenly over shells. Sprinkle with cheese and parprika. Bake and serve or cover with foil and refrigerate up to 1 day. To serve: Bake 25 minutes.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Recipe

I thought I would share when I have a good and easy recipe with you Ladies. So here is the first of hopefully many as I have promised Jimmy I will start experimenting in the kitchen. I had gotten really good about new recipes and then my back happened and he was lucky thier was good in the house, let alone on the table :) So this is called Chicken N Pastry. We thoroughly enjoyed this...


Pepperidge Farm puff pastry sheets
Alouette garlic and herb cheese spread
2-4 boneless chicken breasts halves (I used thin cut)
3 T. melted butter

Thaw pastry sheets and cut each sheet in half. Spread each sheet with cheese spread and place one piece of chicken on top. Fold and seal the edges with melted butter. Bake at 400 for 30 minutes or until golden brown. Enjoy!