AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH...

weekends are the best! I just haven't had a procedure free one in awhile. Friday night Jimmy and I headed over to my Ps house for a good-bye dinner for Christopher before he ships off to Germany for 2 years. Everyone was in good spirits, mocking my father and his illness in typical family style. It got old quick, but they all find it necessary. Saturday we headed over for a soup and salad lunch at Olive Garden...yummy...one of our favorites. Then to a couple's massage. Jimmy's girl beat the crap out of him, just like he likes it. My girl had a gentler touch and my relaxation massage was perfect. I was hoping Linda would come live with us :) But no go. Sunday James and I headed up to church for the first time in awhile. Mom and Justin were there, so got to see them again, which is nice. Then home for some house stuff and errands. Ended up at Friendly's for ice cream sundaes. They were nummy. Then home to just chill. Aside from going by WAY too fast...I have not one complaint about this weekend..it was perfect in every way!

The weekend is almost here!!

I have not been looking forward to and ready for a weekend since I don't know when. I am going to dinner at my parent's house to say good-bye to Christopher who is shipping off to his first Army post in Germany. I am so proud of him I can't put it in words. He is doing such amazing things with his life and I am in awe watching! Then tomorrow Jimmy and I are treating ourselves to lunch at Olive Garden and then a couple's massage. Jimmy will have them beat the crap out of his body in a deep tissue massacre while I prefer a lavendar scented relaxation massage. Ahh, I can not wait. I think I might actually go back to church this week. I don't have any procedures for the first time in a month, so there is no reason not to. And I won't be able to next week since it's going to be the last and most painful injection...so no church for me then. We'll have to see. I might be really bad and just be lazy the whole weekend. I'm guessing DH will make me do something this weekend to improve our environment. The slave driver :)

Devastated...

So last night Mom, Michielle and I go to Pop's for dinner like we do every other Tuesday night. I'm in pain and Mom threw her back out and is hardly moving. Michielle has just returned from a week away and is trying to get back in the swing of things. So it was a mellow night. Nice and quiet. As we are wrapping up our game of Golf (I was winning!!) my Dad strolls in. This is unheard of in Tuesday Night Dinners. He sits down and says that he would like to talk to us when we are finished. I say that on that note I believe we are finished. He then tells us that he has been diagnosed with Prostrate cancer. Stage 2 of a very aggressive strand. That it has not matastisized as yet, but that he is at a Level 8, which is too high for several procedures.

I alternate by the minute between saying that I have to remain positive for him to I need my Daddy and he hasn't even met my kids yet! I am trying to remain strong, but just feel so in shock. Was my Mom fighting for years and finally beating Non-Hodgkins Lymphnoma not enough? Was burying Mimi just 2 years ago after her battle with Pancreatic cancer not enough? Was my scare as a girl of 16 who at 37 now still doesn't know if it will have any adverse effects on child bearing not enough? Has my family not been hit between the eyes too many times already? How much more do we have to take?

I will say that we did have two chuckles before we got in our cars to drive, in my case balling, home. First after everything Dad says and tells us, Pop says, "So you have a chance!". We all busted out laughing and Pop got very upset. But it's become the family montra now, "so I have a chance!!". And then as we are pulling away he says to me "No more tears" and "No more crying" to my sister, who tells him "Now go find a bear and tell him he can't shit in the woods, and let me know how that goes for you!". I'm sure she wasnt' trying to be funny...but it made Dad and I laugh...which is taken in any form right now.

Trucking along...

So I've successfully made it through Procedure #2! It was rougher than the first since I was still healing and they reinsert in the wound. It's taking longer to feel good and I'm still in pain from the injection site. But it is definately working, so I will take whatever I have to for that. I am so thrilled to be getting better. I have one more on the 31st and I'm starting physical therapy tonight. Keeping my fingers crossed that there is massage therapy every time as well :)

Jimmy said to me, "I just want your smile back". It made me realize (1) how bad this has been (2) how long it's been going on and (3) how it's affecting him/James as well. I feel bad. Never really thought about #3 realistically. But I should have. Jimmy has been busting his ass to take care of anything I couldn't handle. Also taking care of me 100% when I have the procedures done and for awhile after. Taking on more than usual to help me out. Poor thing.

Well, I think I'm almost me again...not that that's necessarily a good thing...but it's all I've got!

Second time around...

the procedure table. I am off work tomorrow (yippee) because my doc is only available first thing in the morning for my next shot. So it's at 7:15 a.m. Then Jimmy is dropping me off and heading to work. I'm on my own. No driving or pretty much anything for the first 24 hours. But I can do some major sleeping. I know what to expect this time, so I'm alot more calm then the first time. I know I can do it. And it helps...so that is amazing. Now back to today. It's Thursday and that means GP Mama's bellies and GP Babies' faces and I can't wait!! So jealous of both, but my time will come and hopefully thanks to all this...I'll be in fighting shape for it.

Update...

So I had my first shot procedure done and I survived. I have quite a bit of pain from the injection site and I can't tip my chin down towards my chest. But my arm and shoulder and such are absolutely better. So I will take the temporary additional pain for the improvements I already feel. It is amazing. I have my first physical therapy class tonight. I hope they can give me some good work out advise that will allow me to keep in shape, but not injury myself further. The nurse said something about massage therapy as well, so I am keeping my fingers crossing on that. I love me a good massage. Could be the silver lining I have been waiting for :) Friday I am off work to have my second shot procedure done. Dr. V was only available first thing in the morning and I could not come back to work after. I have to rest and let my body heal. They recommend you don't leave your bed/couch for the remainder of the day. You also can't drive for 24 hours because of the sedative. So I will be chilling at home instead. Then I have to wait two weeks for the third and final shot. But it has definately been worth all the anxiety and pain to have the relief I am already experiencing. And it's only going to improve as we move forward. Now I just have to pray that this is it. That this "fixes" the issue and I don't have to do this whole thing again in the future. At least for many, many years...like when the kids are in college or starting to have thier own babies...is that too much to ask for? I think not.

Terrified...

I saw my new Pain Management doctor last night. I really liked her and her staff. So that is good. I think she knew what she is talking about, which is huge. She listened to me and answered my questions, amen!! However, she told me that I will have to have shots in my back on three different occasions. I have my first one this Friday afternoon. Then two next week. The put me under and then they use an xray to shoot the meds straight into my back. DH tells me not to worry, but it's easy for him to say when I'm on the gurney and he's in the waiting room! Anyway...I'm not worried, I'm terrified. Big difference!! Oh well. Positive thoughts...positive thoughts!

&%$# punks...

So I'm leaving for work on Thursday and I get in my car and it looks like DH has been rummaging around looking for something. Then I start to realize that things are missing. So I call the police and they tell me that the entire neighborhood was hit and they will call me later to get my information, but they won't be sending an officer out. I'm so ticked off and irritated. I'm usually OCD about locking my car doors. I think there must be a way they got in. So I lose all things electronic from my car. Then I get in my car this morning and they hit me AGAIN!! I had not replaced anything, so they only got a box that was more sentimental then of value. But it still makes me so angry. At myself and the damn punks. And when I tell DH about it, he gets irritated. Thanks, that helps. I appreciate your support! Happy flipping Monday.