::sigh::

I don't even know what to say in an update. My MRI results came back yesterday. Along with degenerative vertabrae between Vertabraes 2 and 7 (my fusion is for 6 and 7)...I also have lesions on my spine. I am now going back on Monday to have an intricate brain MRI done to see if they extend to the brain. I asked the nurse who called me some questions and she said, "I'm not the one to ask". Um, then should you be the one to call? I tried googling lesions, but it only made me more scared/freaked out. So I have stopped until I have an actual diagnosis. I heard from my nuerological surgeon who did my fusion, but he can't see me till December 10!! I asked the nurse if that meant that it wasn't serious and she said, "He hasn't even looked at your report, that's just our first opening". So if the brain MRI comes back "bad", I might have to go to another neurologist. I always tell Jimmy that he needs to take me out back and shoot me like a lame horse. The poor man got a lemon!! But he inssits on keeping me around. Got to question his sanity!! But usually I just thank God for his loyalty :)

So for those who have trouble keeping up with my out of control medical brew ha ha. That means I go for a brain MRI on Monday and to the RE on Tuesday. I believe I have a dental thing in there as well but it might clash with the MRI...I'm waiting to hear from the receptionist on that. Is my life ridiculous or what? Not sure how much more I can take!!

Couple things

So...I have my MRI today at 4:30. Not allowed to eat anything more in 3 minutes. And of course, just to make things more fun and interesting. Because I have a plate in my neck they have to do contrast with the MRI. Meaning they put dye in my blood while they are administering the test. I've been told it makes you feel like you are peeing your pants (well, if you were in fact wearing pants). So that should be great!! Strapped down in a tube with bladder issues. Love it. But if it can rule out damage to another vertabrae it will be worth it. Still waiting for the insurance company to admit fault so we can move forward on that front. But Jimmy and I have decided that instead of repairing Betsy, we are going to get me a new car once we get the funds. I'm looking at Jettas and Mazda 3s. Can't wait...I haven't had a new car in 5 years :) One plus of this nightmare. We also got some furniture from my FIL's friend. So we are buying a new dining room table to go with the lovely new cushy chairs we got. I swear it was just an excuse for Jimmy to force me to go through our closets and attic and drawers. But it will benefit us as Mom is having a garage sale on Saturday, which I had already volunteered to assist her with. So we're going to put our stuff in it as well and hopefully make a few bucks. Bonus.

Here was my other excitement. Went to Kohl's on Friday night to buy James' "warm" clothes for the year since he is growing like a weed and does not fit in anything from the beginning of this year. I spend $205 and change on the clothes and a runners watch for Jimmy who is training for a marathon with his brother. The girl makes this big deal about marking my 3 hundred dollar bills I gave her as payment and giving me the Kohl's cash and when I can use it and such. She indicated that my change was with the Kohl's cash. So fast forward to Saturday and we are taking James to a fair to celebrate his wonderful report card and I try and pull my cash out so I don't have to carry a bag. I have none. Not a single dollar. I freak. Call Kohl's and talk to a manager. She says that they will get right back to me. Finally get a call while at the fair and this manager tells me that they have to review the tapes (thank God I bought Jimmy the watch and therefore was at the jewelry counter where they have cameras) and they will call me first thing in the morning. By 4 on Sunday still no word. So I go back to Kohl's and the manager tells me that the security guy doesn't work till Tuesday but they are going to try and get him to come in tomorrow (i.e. Monday...or today). So my phone doesn't ring in my office as it's a concrete cave. But I get a voice mail a few ago from said security guy telling me that I can come into Kohl's at my convenience and the manager on duty will have my "change". Yippee. I am so glad that it worked out and I did not through $94 out the door. Not when I am saving every cent so we can go and see my nephew in the Bahamas when his is done with his tour of duty!! Thank you Kohl's for being honest and still remaining one of my favorite places to shop.

Is it wrong?

So Jimmy and I had a little melt down "fight" last month. I felt like I was alone in this baby making business and he felt like I was just using him for his sperm. That he had lost his wife and partner and lover to psuedo quote him. It all worked out and I think brought us ultimately closer. But he shared that it's one of the reasons that he was pushing for starting with the RE. So that I would not be so focused on the every other day sex thing pre-O. So we see the RE on the 2nd, but I should O around next Thursday. A few days before. I have not been temping (I will probably take a "just checking" temp next week once or twice till I know I Oed) but I am not going to freak out and make this month another stressful sex month. With my injury I'm not even sure we can successfully have sex. But I think I'm going to try and see if we can work it in at least two or three times during the "right" time as I would hate to miss an entire month that could mean getting pregnant unassisted. Is that horrible? I think if I make sure I make it as romantic and non-pressured as possible that he should not complain. Right? It's not like he doesn't enjoy sex...he just doesn't like walking in the door and having me say, "Okay...let's go!!". I can't imagine why :) Men!!

Accident updates

Emergency room for 5 hours last night. X-Rays of my plate to make sure it was not cracked or snapped from the impact. Thank God it was not. Doctor visit today to be set up for an MRI followed by seeing my surgeon. Physical therapy as well as muscle relaxers, anti-inflammatories and pain meds. So much pain and all kinds of fun stuff. Waiting to hear about getting my car looked at. Hate driving it without the right turn signal. I feel so unsafe!!

Yeah...fate hates me...

So I'm driving home from working late on Friday night. In traffic I normally miss. And the car in front of me stops due to the car in front of them stopping. I stop. The guy behind me tries to shoot into the right lane instead and doesn't do a very good job of it and nails the back left corner of my car with the front right corner of his. He left 27 feet of skip marks. That's how fast he was going. So we pull over and he yells at me, "What happened, didn't you see me?". Um. You were behind me and I had to stop. The car in front of me stopped. What would you have liked me to do. I asked if he wanted me to call the police. He told me to do what I wanted. Luckily a very nice lady (two actually in the same car) had witnessed it (they were in the car behind him) and stopped and waited till the police arrive. So the police come and since he was in his marine corp gear they did not issue him a ticket. They listed him as the #1 driver, which means he's the responsible party, but still. My nephew is serving in Afganistan right now, don't get me wrong...but I don't agree with this. If you did something illegal, you should get a ticket! End of story. No matter who you are. And can you believe that he had the nerve to call and try and put a claim against me on my insurance!!? I mean, for what? Did I hit reverse and leave 27 feet of skid marks hitting you? I don't think so. I guess he didn't realize that I'm married to an insurance adjuster. Or that he would know all the parties investigating this for the insurance. So Jimmy went and took pictures of the skid marks and location of the accident to show that I could not have possibly been responsible. And luckily the witness spoke to them as well and told them what had happened. That I was stopped already when he struck me. The vehicle adjuster measured my treads to show that it was not my car that left the skid marks. My car weights 6600 pounds and he was going fast enough to move it forward and sideways!! Pretty impressive, huh? Unfortunately it also meant that he hit me hard enough to screw my back up. I started having the pain and numbness I experienced prior to my surgery last year. So I contacted my primary doctor and my surgeon and am now waiting to see what sort of imaging I have to have done to see if they damaged my fusion up or if it's just residual pain or what. I am in hell and it feels like it is taking everyone too long to get back to me. I can't sleep again from the pain. And I am working overtime all week this week. Sucks. I didn't go to James football game yesterday because I was in so much pain, so of course, he got his first interception and touchdown and almost got another touchdown when he ran the whole field!! Yeah...fate hates me. I just can't figure out why. And now I have to tell everyone involved (per my insurance people) that we are actively trying to get pregnant and how this might hinder that process and/or pregnancy for me. I really don't want to share that with strangers (other than you Lovelies :)...but I guess it's necessary. Embarrassing...but necessary. Just what I need, more people pitying the poor freak who can't get pregnant. ::sigh::

Yeah...fuck you...

temp drops and spotting!!

Wordless Wednesday

Holy 90 years Batman...

My grandfather/Pop is turning 90 today. Holy crap. And he is still living on his own, golfing and bowling every week and driving his crazy ass around town. Now, mind you, I could retire if he paid me the money he forks out in "oops" driving incidents, but still. So my Dad, sister and I are taking him out to dinner. Don't have time for it...but how often does one reach 90? Love you Poopsie and hope there is 90 more in your future!!

Crazy weekend...

Had our lovely dinner at my ILs on Friday. Really good time. Some wine, great food and plenty of laughter and convesation. James slept over and Uncle Marc and Aunt Nicole took him to his practice on Saturday morning. Get a call that Marc has cut himself bad enough to see bone and require a visit to the hospital. He was running the bleachers and slipped and wacked his shin on the metal bleacher. Poor thing. It was ugly. And his compassionate brother was taking pictures to send out while he is in pain waiting to be stitched. Real nice my husband. I ended up missing the football pictures and game on Sunday. But my FIL and BIL showed up so he had the boys there for him. Which is nice. Jimmy said that he played like a champ. He was very proud of himself when he got home. He and I had a lovely sword fight while Jimmy was out and about doing some errands. I had a horrible headache and my back was burning. So I was taking it easy and my hubbie was filling in for me. Man I love that guy!!

So the weekend is upon us...

Thank God!! I have to work late night. I will be working late about 1/2 of October. The extra money will be nice, but it's going to suck. Oh well...what is...is :) Jimmy and I are running after work to open new accounts at a different bank. We had been members of a local bank for a million years. Well Jimmy was a million, I was a few thousand. Then they were taken over by a conglomerate. They promised nothing would change. Same great service, same customer care. Bullshit!! They send us a new account number and some sample checks. So I get to toss out the money from my two boxes of checks I had ordered on the old account number. They announce the change over is in affect on Saturday the 25th. On Friday the 24th my old card is denied, and I don't have the new card. I was trapped at a gas station until DH could come and rescue me. I go to log on to the new website and it denies me over and over. I call customer support and am informed that someone at thier bank already had my sign on name, so they just assigned me random numbers. But never informed me. So I was about to choke them by now. We get our new cards and they are not embossed like a credit card but thin plastic that can/will snap if you put it in your pocket. It also can only be used as a debit, not a credit like my old card. Final straw. The old bank, if you deposited your pay check...regardless of at what time...it was the first transaction of the day. I inquired as to whether that would hold true with the new bank and was assured it would. $140 later I find out that it is not. In fact, they don't put your check through until the end of the batch day...so basically it is now the LAST thing of the day. So anything I put through that day like I had a million times before cost me an overdraft fee. Yup. So I call Customer Service and ask what is going on with all these fees. She explains and is so rude and condescending. I ask a question and she says, "I already explained that." to which I tell her if you explained it properly I would understand and not have to ask again!! Explain it better! By the end of the conversation I was screaming and cursing and then even threated physical violence against this girl. I have never in my life done that. But I wanted to punch her. Had we been at a branch, I honestly and truly believe that I would have hit someone for the first time in my life! Grrr.

After we run around taking care of our bank stuff. We have to cruise to my ILs for a birthday celebration for my BIL. He and his new wife are flying in for the weekend. So we'll go and spend some time with them. I'll finally get to give my MIL the bottle of wine I got for her at my wine tasting in St. Augustine. She left to take care of her Mom in upstate NY right after and this is the first time we are going to hang out since. So that should be fun. Jimmy is bring his Dad some Black Lager he keeps telling him about from Sam Adams. I really like to go home and chill on Friday after a long week. But what can you do. It is what it is.

Tomorrow I AM sleeping in. Come hell or high water I am. It might just get ugly if someone tries to change that on me. I need it. Bad. Just found out they are having an extra football practice on Saturday morning. James needs it. I'm crossing my fingers that since he is sleeping at my ILs on Friday night my FIL will take him and Jimmy can still go and work out and I can still sleep in. Sunday we have James' football pictures followed by his third game. Hopefully he is catching on more and will participate better. I hate seeing him stand there all lost. But the boys were so keyed up and spastic at Wednesday's practice, so we'll see how they do in the game. Coach said that last weeks team was one of the best in the league and they held thier own. Lost...but held thier own. They had two kids that were fast enough to play on a college football team. And this is 8 year olds!! But some started when they were 6...so they have an advanctage from playing previous years. He'll get there eventually!! Supposed to be going to a 1 year old birthday party as well, but don't think it will fit in and I'm okay with that.

Weekend...

So Saturday we had my Pop's 90th surprise birthday party. Biggest surprise was him showing up an hour early and shocking all of us!! But 45ish of his friends (plus 20ish of family) showed up. He walked around like a proud peacock. It was priceless :) Good food, good family and great times. We laughed like the old days. Three of us emptied my visiting sisters suitcase and put on all her clothes. She kept yelling at me to not stretch her shoes, hello...I wear 2 sizes smaller than you. Not likely.

Sunday we had James' second football game. A bunch of the family came to support him. Everyone yelled his name when he came on the field for the first time and embarressed him. That's what family is for, right? It was so sweet of them to take the time. Then we headed to Cracker Barrel for lunch with my in-laws. It was a good time. Followed by James and Mama doing the California poster project for school. It came out remarkably well if I do say so myself. But the cherry on my day was the police arriving for my next door neighbor and parking in front our house and then in my driveway with sirens going and lights blazing until almost 2 a.m. My husband snoring through it all made me twice as annoyed. So alittle tired today :)

I had a temp rise. Two more days of this and I get crosshairs. Yippee!!

Some updates...

Jinx is eating. I swear he saw "the box"...the carrier he goes in to go to the vet and it scared him. Because the minute I placed it on the chair to get ready to pop him in for our visit, I turned around and he was chowing down. He ate again this morning twice before I left for work. You can already see the concaveness of body starting to fill out. And he is crying so much less. I'm sure the little bugger was starving. Thank you God. My prayers have been answers. I believe he will be fine now. Whew.

I got my RE appointment scheduled. It's going to be November 2nd @ 1 p.m. We have to drive an hour and a half for all our appointments. That's the closest "good"/recommended doctor we could find. But it will be worth it if the success rate is as good as it's supposed to be. I called my primary physician and my OB/GYN to have all prior tests/bloodwork/ultrasounds sent to him. They say it can be as much as $625 for the first appointment. But that is largely in part to an internal ultrasound. Well...I've had two of those done since December, so hopefully that won't be required again. She is going to call me the week before, once they have everything being sent to them and let me know the cost exactly. Fingers crossed it's alot less that that first figure. But it is what it is and will be what it will be. I'm praying that this cycle will be it for us and the RE will be unnecessary completely. But I need to accept that this next step may well be our only chance of successfully having a pregnancy.

I am so lucky that Jimmy is the kind of man who did and would take on full custody of his son. It's made not having a baby yet that much easier. Between the needs of James on our time and such keeping me busy...and the love I get from him. It's that much less difficult to be unsuccessful each month. I still want a sibling (or two) for him...and pray that becomes a reality soon. But in the mean time, I have my love to talk my ear off and cuddle in my lap on a bad day.