Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Waiting...

I have truly come to believe that life is all about waiting. You are always looking to the next "thing". Be it good or bad. Right now I'm waiting for the Surgical PA to call me. I'm waiting to find out how long I have to wait to have my surgery. Whether it's going to mean a longer TTC break than I had originally thought. I am so disappointed. But I know I need to do what I need to do to make me better. But come on. I am 37 years old!! I don't even know if I can get pregnant because I haven't even really been able to try. I had to get past BCPs, now I'm on hold while my medicine is given a chance to work. Next it's going to be surgery. Waiting to have it, then waiting while I heal. Then...could it be possible? Coule I possible be able to try and bring the biggest dream of my life to fruition? Seriously? I'm going to be allowed to even try and get pregnant. Nothing else is going to get in the way? I am so crossing my fingers for that...it's been WAY too long already. I am not a patient woman, and I swear God loves to taunt me with this lesson time and time again. Okay, I get the message. But I also think it's been beaten to death and it should be time...time to allow for the possibility. Time to bring our own miracle into this world. Time to create life...PLEASE...

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