Clueless...

So I have NO idea where I am in my cycle. If I'm even going to have a "cycle" this month. For kicks and giggles I took my temp this morning. 97.5. Means nothing to me. Could be the drop just before AF. Could be anything really. So I just cross my fingers and pray I don't get AF for Friday/Saturday's water adventures with Donna and her family. That would really suck. So...do you think I'll get my period or will I spot again...thoughts...feelings...sentiments? Anything? Is this thing on? Anyone?

More updating

So I saw the doc on Friday. Hypothyroidism and borderline diabetic. So I was put on a low dosage of the thyroid meds and have to be blood tested in 6 weeks. If not okay then, they raise the dosage and retest me in 6 weeks, and so on. Not sure when my cycle will get back to normal. I hope that happens pretty quickly. Jimmy has become a diet and fitness natzi now. Keeps telling me it's just because he wants me around for along time. But it's mucho annoying when I am exhausted and/or in pain. He's pushing me to do something physical every day. Rollerblade, ride bike, walk, wii, swim, sex...something. And he is all over me about cheating on my no sugar program I've done forever. I also have to go psuedo-Atkins with carbs. I figure when I cook I'll use wheat products and spinach pasta, etc. But when I go out or somewhere I will just eat and not worry about it. I guess I have to consider the positive side and figure I will probably lose some weight or at least tone up and slim down. It will be interesting to see where I end up :) So fingers crossed my levels are good at the beginning of August and my cycle goes back to "normal". Don't think I'll ever complain about my pretty but uncooperative chart again!!

Update

So I had my uterus water ultrasound and vaginal ultrasound yesterday. First I get to the office and have to walk through the pediatric office and see all the little children playing. Then it must have been ultrasound day for all the expecting moms. Everyone and thier Mother (literally) were in the waiting room. So I sit in the crowd and try not to look at the bellies as I read my conception magazine. Till this voice next to me says, "When are you due?" Had to try and not cry as I explained that I am not. Then go in for the ultrasound and the tech pulls up my last one and asks me when that was and why and I explain it was done while I was miscarrying. She tries to close it out quickly with several apologies. So the good news is that all my lady bits are as they should be. The b/w showed that my progesterone level was good. My uterus is as it should be. No un-natural thickening. My ovaries are good, the tech even said that they are the exact same size, which is rare and extremely good. But the bad news is my lining is super thin. Meaning that the thryoid issue is preventing me from ovulating. So pregnancy right now is simpley out of the question. Until the thryoid is back on track...we are at a stand still. So I have to cancel my RE appointment as a result. Nothing they can do till my levels are back to normal. And I guess a normal range is 2.0 to 4.3 and I am at 7.9. So almost double the high end of the range. Not good I'm sure. I did have a teeny tiny cyst, but it appeared to have already burst. So she did not think it was a problem at all.

So now we wait till Friday and see what comes from that. I hope it's as simple as taking a small and inexpensive pill and I'm back on track in record time. Thinking I might try on our own once this is handled to see if that truly was the problem prior to seeing the RE. We are going to have to pay OOP for everthing, so it might benefit us to try alittle first. We'll see.

We did have two sweets things occur recently amongst all this crap. Our families were over for James 8th birthday on Sunday. My grandfather comes up to me and says, "If you aren't getting pregnant on your own, is there a special doctor you can see to help you about that, or is that just it?" So I explain about REs and that I have an appointment coming up (this is the day before the thyroid results so I was still on in my mind at the time). I explain that it's very expensive and we have been pushing it back since we really can't afford it. He tells me to keep him posted, but that if money is all that is keeping him from his great grandchild, then I'm to forget all about that and he will make it happen. I was so shocked and touched I burst into tears. Then Jimmy and his Dad were talking yesterday and he asked him about my appointment and if I was sick. Jimmy explained about my thyroid. His Dad asked if it was affecting us getting pregnant. Jimmy explained that it was. So his Dad tells him, "If it doesn't happen for you, you know you can always adopt. And we will absolutely help you to make that happen!". We are so very blessed to have these amazing and generous people in our lives!!

I also had a little sad moment last night. We were watching Dog the Bounty Hunter of all things and the daughter goes into labor. Jimmy got teary eyed and said he couldn't watch it and left the room. Sometimes I forget that it's not just me who is hurt daily by all this. My sweet husband is suffering as well. It breaks my heart even more!!

::sigh::

So the temp drop and flat line and non-recalled temps were actually my body going nuts. Those temps were accurate!! So I ended up at the OBs office yesterday. I truly believed that I was pregnant. Everything about my body was saying I was pregnant except those damn HPTs that kept saying NEGATIVE. Bastards. So I broke down and went in to to have a beta done. She also examined me and scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow to check for cysts. But in the meantime she took a ton of blood. I guess checking for some other things as well as the beta. So I find out today that my thyroid levels are elevated. Which can cause ALL the symptons I have so lovingly assumed were pregnancy symptoms. It can also affect me staying fat even when I am good and work out and eat right. It can explain the exhaustion. The emotions. It can also, sadly and most frustratingly cause me to not get pregnant. I just want to cry again and again and again!!

I really am starting to think that my body officially hates me. I think it gets up in the morning and holds a meeting. Each body part announces thier status. Eye...on meds thanks...good to go. Back...had surgery...good for now. And then if no one is signed up for that day to have problems someone volunteers. Because apparently we can not have all systems working at the same time. I guess the thyroid spoke up first this time. I told Jimmy that we should just take me out in the backyard and shoot me like a lame horse. I have outlived my usefullness. He told me I had to stick around long enough to get a good insurance policy in place first. You've got to love that man!!

Huh answered...

So I figured out that the low temps were due to a flat lined thermometer. I bought a new one. It's supposed to have last temp recall. But if I don't check it right away it tells me 97.7, my test temp when I first bought it. Stupid pieces of crap. Guess someone is trying to tell me to take a temp break, huh?

Huh.

So I took my temp this morning and it was 96.80. In the 19 months I have been temping it has never been this low at this point in my cycle. In fact I have never seen that number outside of my O day. I am dying to see what happens next!!

8DPO

Half way through the 2ww. I'm torturing myself with testing or not on Friday, 11DPO and ::sigh:: my 38th birthday. Not sure how I feel about it...guess I'll just have to see how I feel that morning. My temp is way up. Jimmy is still asking me every day about my temp and what it means. He's so cute :) I love this new, involved husband. God, I love that man!!