Silly DH

Since I opted to continue with the PIO shots rather than changing over to the suppositories, Jimmy has to re-draw my circles every couple of days. They fade quickly. I guess to entertain himself and make me giggle, he has started drawing faces and characters instead of just plain circles. If they were not located on my almost ass, I would take some pics so you could truly appreciate them...but you will just have to imagine them :) This time I have horns on one and a HUGE nose on the other. I just love that man!!

Transfer and Introduction

So...the transfer went really well, sans my bladder. I was in the shower so Jimmy got the all a go call. We head out for out 1.5 hour journey with me slamming water the whole time for my full bladder. I had been told that we had to be there at 11 for an 11:15 transfer. So when we arrive at 10:50 I am full up. We sit in the reception area for a few minutes and then they call us back. Put me in my gown and head and foot wear. And then sit us in the office to wait to talk to the doctor. And we wait and we wait. At 11:30 I start to get antsy as I am in alot of pain now. Jimmy informs me that they told him we were to be there at 11 for an 11:30 transfer. Lovely. At 11:45 tears come into my eyes I am in so much pain. So Jimmy asks the nurse how much longer? She informs us that the doctor has been called and we are just waiting on her. But that I can semi-drain my bladder while we are waiting. The doctor shows up a few minutes later. She informs us that they are transferring one perfect, text book zygote. She presents us with a picture and I tell you, I was instantly in love. I ask her if I can continue with the PIO shots rather than changing over to the suppositories. She tells us that I am the first person to ever make that request of her. But it's good.

They bring me back and put my leggings on and throw my legs up in the air so my crotch is hanging out for the world to see and they start moving the u/s wand over my over full belly. And they keep commenting on how full my bladder is. But they keep pushing on it regardless. Thanks Ladies. The doctor finally returns and comments that my bladder (which remember has already been partially drained :) is full enough for several patients and it's good to see someone who follows instructions. Yup that's me, the good girl. They finally put the zygote in and they move me over to a recovery bed and wheel me into a room. I have to wait another 15 minutes before I can pee. Jimmy comes in and tells me how they let him watch the whole thing but he had no idea what he was seeing till one of the sweet nurses explained it all to him. He is practically glowing. Jimmy kept referring to his sperm as olympians. And since our zygote was classified as perfect by the doctor...we decided that it was only fitting...

Isn't he/she gorgeous? I think so...

Fert Report

So I got a call from the RE's office. One of my two follicles has matured. So as of right now we are a go for Thursday's transfer. We will get a final call on Thursday morning to let us know for sure...but for now I am praying like mad that the saying "it only takes one" holds true!! Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Ladies...you all rock.

ER

So my ER was today. I had two beautiful 21s :) I am in a good amount of pain...and very nervous. Now I wait till tomorrow afternoon to hear if we have matured and are a go for Thursday's transfer. Too damn much waiting in this game. And I am so not a patient person.

Monitoring #2

So aside from waiting in the ultrasound room for an hour while I was having way too much anxiety, the second appointment went well. My left little guy shrunk, so he's out of the game. But the two right guys are up to 21 and 18. So it's a go. I know most women have like 12 follicles for an IVF, but after last month, I'm just excited to have 2 and the go ahead. So I trigger tonight and we have our pre-op appointment tomorrow morning. And they are doing the egg retreival on Monday morning at 10:45. I am a little freaked out now that it's here. And I am dreading calling my boss and telling him that I need Monday off. And if they do a 3 day transfer I will need Thursday off as well. But it is what it is...and I can't stress over that part of it. Poor Jimmy has late duty on Monday so he is going to have to drop me off after and go into work. That sucks, but will mean some quiet time for me after. So it must be meant to be :)

Monitoring

So I got up at the crack of dawn. My RE's office is an hour and a half away and for some reason they want me to be there at like 8 every.single.time. So I have to leave my house by 6:30 at the latest. It sucks. But what can you do? So Jimmy couldn't get off work today and so my Mom and sister went with me (which today meant leaving at 6 to get to my Mom's house in time to leave). It was a nice, easy drive up there. I get my bloodwork done and then go in for my ultrasound. The Tech got my hopes up as she said I had two rock stars and a little guy. So I though 2 maybe three. Fast forward to my phone call from the nurse. I have a 16...a 12 and a 9. So if the 12 doesn't catch up to the 16...we will have only one again. I am so terrified they are going to recommend cancelling again. For a few reasons. Jimmy and I are both hitting our limit on this whole IF thing. And we have already hit a large, hard brick wall when it comes to money to buy more meds or anything else. We just found out we owe on our taxes ($713) since we took money out of our 401k for the IF to begin with. So I don't know what will happen if they recommend that. Do we go ahead and do the IVF with one follicle and pray like crazy that it rocks it? Do we cancel and do another IUI and pray like crazy that it works and never do an IVF? I don't even know how I feel about it all, but I will have to make a decision very soon. I am so sad and frustrated and sick about it all. Makes me wish I was a drinker or a smoker or something I could do to "escape". But alas...

So I have to continue with my Bravelle tonight and tomorrow morning. Add goneralex to tonights regime and then be at the RE's first thing tomorrow morning for more blood work and another ultrasound. This is my punishment for telling my Mom and sister that I have never had to go for more than one monitoring appointment since I O so early in my cycle. ::sigh:: When will I learn to keep my big fat mouth shut? Most likely, never. So I am now praying like mad that at least the 12 catches up. In a perfect world the 9 would get in the mix as well. Is that too much to ask for? Maybe, but I'm going to anyway. You hear that? Three follicles large enough to be involved in the ER...pretty please?!! With whip cream and I'll even give my cherry...tee hee...I just realized how that sounds. Okay...more tomorrow!!

Is it working?

So last cycle...the meds did nothing to me. I mean that they did not do anything to make/stimulate my ONE lousy egg...as well as they did not do anything to alter my mood/personality. Jimmy actually took James aside and told him that Mama might be a little cranky or emotional, and he should not take it personally. James said something along the lines of Mama is doing great, maybe she can stay on thse meds all the time!! Got to love the kid. Fast forward to this cycle. I am irritable, emotional and edgy. So I am praying like crazy that this means that it is also doing it's actual job and is working magic on my eggs!! I am so terrifed that I will go tomorrow morning for my monitoring appointment and they will tell me the same thing they told me last time. That I only have one egg and they recommend cancelling my IVF. I don't know what I'm going to do if that happens. I might go forward with the IVF anyway, because obviously that means that one is all my body can/will make any longer. But if the odds are against us, is it worth throwing all that money down the drain? And of course Jimmy isn't going to this monitoring appointment with me. My Mom and sister are instead. So I'll have to hear thier opinions rather than being able to make a decision with my husband. ::sigh:: Oh well, I will know soon enough if we are a go or we are having to make a very tough decision. So fingers crossed and prayers said...that's all I can do at this point. I have shot myself up and taken my meds like a good girl. It's in God's hands now.

The Ups and Downs

So...I went on Saturday for my first monitoring appointment. They found three follicles on my left side. 9.8, 9.6, and 10.1. My right ovary is apparently lazy, to quote the u/s tech. Explains why we were not successful last cycle. Grrr. So I call my Mom and break down in tears about how much the meds are going to cost me. I have been offered a med donation from one of the Lovelies from TTTC (who has now YEAH graduated :) but I needed to order more of the Bravelle and I needed the Ovidrel. So fast forward to lunch after church with my Mom. She hands me an envelope and all of my siblings and my Mom raised the money for my meds. I am so truly blessed. That's the ups. Now the downs. Even though this Lovely rushed right out and paid to have the package guaranteed for Monday delivery, it did not make it. And the package from the pharmacy was only sent out on Monday since they were already closed on Saturday when I finished with my RE appointment and could call to order it. So now poor Jimmy, instead of staying home and resting while sick, is driving an hour and a half each way to my RE's office to pick up another med that I am supposed to take this morning (hopefuly it will still be morning when he gets it to me). I feel horrible asking him to do it. Thanks God he loves me!! So frustrated. But it is what it is. I just hope that USPS refunds her money for not delivering it when it was supposed to be here. It is total bullshit. Total.

So now I continue taking my oral meds and injectables until Friday morning when I go for my first monitoring appointment. Fingers crossed that all three of the follicles continue to grow and are perfect little eggs. That's not too much to ask for is it? I don't think so!!

Trying to remain positive

so I spoke to the nurse at the RE's office. and I am trying to remain positive. They are going to go more aggressive in my protocol. And she is trying to work out either (a) less expensive meds options or (b) samples from the distributors for me to use. So I may be able to afford to do this IVF thing right away. Fingers crossed!! Now I just have to wait for AF to show so I can move forward with this new plan. But of course, she's taking her damn sweet time arriving. So frustrating knowing that you are not pregnant, but not having AF show up. I know it's because the progesterone is elongating my cycle. But come on already!!

BFN

That is all I have right now. No AF, but two BFNs. So devastated.

Progesterone Suppositories

Suck!! Plain and simple. I hate them. I have another week of them and I am dreading it. It's not too bad at night when I can lay down or on the weekends for the mid-day one when I can lay down. But when I have to do it in the bathroom at work and then sit down. Ouch. It hurts. I almost wish he had kept me on the PIO plan rather than cancelling that along with the IVF. Oh well...it WILL be worth it!!