TTGP Ladies...

rock!! I had my follow up tests yesterday. CHW (or H2 to me :) suggested holding her boobies during my test in support and I was amazed at how many of the lovies were willing to do the same in my honor!! And it worked. I found out it's a benign lymphnoid. I am so relieved and touched at the same time. It's amazing what having that behind you can do. Now I just need to lose the 1.1 lbs. I gained while I stressed over the tests and results! This bloat is killing me.

Really...again?

So I experienced my first mammogram the other day. Not something I would recommend, but like all medical things, it's necessary. They called me today and told me that they found a nodule in my left breast and now I have to go on Tuesday for a second mammogram and an ultrasound. Really? I mean, was 2008 and 2009's medical issues not enough for you? I told DH that my warranty was up and he might want to rethink marrying me while we were engaged. I think he is finally starting to see that I was not kidding. I am done broke...in every way :)

For me?

I have never won anything in my life. I went to a bridal expo and won the cruise, but they messed up the draw, so they put it back and pulled another!! So thank you Kaymee for bestowing on me my first ever win!!

So now I guess I'm supposed to tell you ten honest things about myself. Hmm...

1. In my opinion Saturdays are for never leaving your house. Sleeping in, staying in your jammies and putzing around in your own comfortable space :)

2. There are no rules when it comes to food. Eggs can be eaten for dinner and pizza or leftover seafood can also be eaten for breakfast.

3. If I eat...I will drop something...somewhere on my outfit.

4. I'm super girlie...love jewelry and heels and dressing pretty.

5. I'm old fashion and love the idea of staying home while my husband works. Traditional roles.

6. I like sex better on the couch then in bed...don't ask me why.

7. Jimmy is completely helpless when it comes to food. I shop, cook, serve and clean up. And I love it. I love that he needs me for something so fundamental.

8. I only wear underwear during AF. And for those three or four days a month they drive me absolutely bat shit crazy. I can not wait to get them off again.

9. DH has two nick names for me. Babydoll and Alpha Dog. I think both fit me to a tee :)

10. I secretly like to go to bed before DH so I can sprawl across the whole bed and fall asleep in absolute comfort and peace.

Major crab...

that was me yesterday when AF arrived. I was in a nasty mood and my poor family had to deal with me. I didn't leave the house the entire weekend and have zero guilt about it :) It was damn cold and rainy and I felt crappy and that's all I'm going to say about it. I did a whole slew of house stuff and bummed around and felt sorry for myself. Jimmy did remind me that the doctor had wanted me to wait a month away. And said that we could now look forward to some more couch loving (my favorite spot :) So I've got that going for me!!

FF Frustration

So FF has my O date in a range between CD9 and CD17. Um, yeah. So I have no idea of where my body is. How fun. The doctor had told me to wait a month before trying again. But I didn't want to throw a month away. So God's hands :) I have no idea when I Oed, but I know I did...so maybe, just maybe our timing will be good. Wouldn't that be lovely? It's funny though. I desperately want to go to Marc's wedding. But if I got pregnant now, I would be due around that time and traveling to NY would be off the table. Does it bother me at the thought of missing the wedding to be pregnant instead, not even for a blink of the eye. Jimmy says that my body will go into labor as soon as he leaves just for spite. He's the best man...so that would suck for him. But let's not count our chickens...

Operation 2009

So I know that the doctor recommended that we wait a month for dating purposes and my mental well being. But I can't wrap my mind around waiting a month to make me feel better. Getting pregnant (and staying pregnant) will be the only thing that accomplishes that on this front. So I am going forward with our last 2009 pregnancy attempt. I should ovulate in the next day or two if history stands true. I have been jumping Jimmy every other day for the past week now. He's mighty happy and loving the end of the year :) Tonight we're up again. Then New Year's if I have not Oed as yet. Two nights ago I'm lighting all the candles and he gets up and starts pouring cereal. He asks me what I'm doing and I tell him that I had planned on seducing my man but he's too busy with his cereal. Luckily he made the right decision. So fingers crossed...and good luck to any other women sexing it up till the end of the year!!

Number 16...

So my little brother and his wife had thier first child. A little boy. Yesterday. I am so excited for him...really and truly I am!! I mean it...I really do :) I can't wait to meet the little booger.

umm...

I'm not even sure what to say. How to start. I guess I just say it. I had a miscarriage. My baby is gone. I was 4 weeks 5 days pregnant and I got to know it for 2 days. 2 days. I got to wake up one morning knowing that there was a baby there before there was no longer a baby there. I was going to tell Jimmy with a cute Knocked Up shirt I ordered forever ago. Instead I got to tell him while I was sweating and shaking on the bathroom floor. I guess I should say that Jimmy had left for work and I started cramping so bad it doubled me over. So I went to the bathroom, thinking I had to go to the bathroom. I sat there thinking I was going to die. I tried standing up and that was not successful so I fell to the ground. I started breaking out in a sweat and shaking. I didn't want to involve him, but I had no choice. So I started yelling out to James who was in watching t.v. waiting to leave for school. So I yelled a few times and he finally heard me. Came to the bedroom and asked me if I had called him. I asked him if he could bring me my phone. As I had sweat dripping off my face he asked me if I had just gotten out of the shower. I was trying to not upset or scare him so I said that I had and asked him again if he could bring me my phone. He asked me why I was sitting on the ground next to the toilet. I told him that I just needed a breather and could he bring me my phone. He asked me if I did that every time. I explained that it was just some times and could he bring me my phone please? So finally he runs to get it and then goes back to the t.v. I call Jimmy and ask him to come back. I tell him that I am sick and need him to take James to school. So he says he'll be back shortly.

I hear him come in but he's chatting with James. I'm screaming HONEY and nothing. I try getting up and I finally hear him coming into the bedroom. So here is the horrible moment I have to tell him that I got a positive pregnancy test, but I think I'm losing the baby. He lies me in bed and takes James to school. The rest of the day was doctor's appointments, internal ultrasounds, several locations to get blood work done. The one test, so they knew my blood type in case I hemorredged and required a blood transfusion was not done at all the offices.

Then I was supposed to get the second Beta test to see if it was a miscarriage or an eptopic pregnancy was supposed to be done at the hospital as the doctor's office said they would be open on Sunday, 48 hours after the first test. So after dropping James off at my ILs and having to tell them why...we get there to be told that thier lab is not open on Sunday. This after I have to walk through the Birthing Center as they share the same door. It all sucked.

Saturday night I went to bed around 11:30 and got up on Sunday morning at 11:48. I was "up" twice before that. But fell right back to sleep and slept until then. I guess I needed it. Jimmy was the sweetest thing ever through it all. Putting up with my insanity and mood swings and tears. He was strong and supportive and sweet. And I love him even more for it. I know it was hard for him too. But he was there for me as he knew I needed it. We did some therapy shopping for the house and he brought me for frequent sundaes at Friendly's. I wasn't always friendly myself. But he brought out my smile as often as he could find it. I swear everything this weekend was pregnant woman and babies. Even Star Trek...really?