::sigh::

So the temp drop and flat line and non-recalled temps were actually my body going nuts. Those temps were accurate!! So I ended up at the OBs office yesterday. I truly believed that I was pregnant. Everything about my body was saying I was pregnant except those damn HPTs that kept saying NEGATIVE. Bastards. So I broke down and went in to to have a beta done. She also examined me and scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow to check for cysts. But in the meantime she took a ton of blood. I guess checking for some other things as well as the beta. So I find out today that my thyroid levels are elevated. Which can cause ALL the symptons I have so lovingly assumed were pregnancy symptoms. It can also affect me staying fat even when I am good and work out and eat right. It can explain the exhaustion. The emotions. It can also, sadly and most frustratingly cause me to not get pregnant. I just want to cry again and again and again!!

I really am starting to think that my body officially hates me. I think it gets up in the morning and holds a meeting. Each body part announces thier status. Eye...on meds thanks...good to go. Back...had surgery...good for now. And then if no one is signed up for that day to have problems someone volunteers. Because apparently we can not have all systems working at the same time. I guess the thyroid spoke up first this time. I told Jimmy that we should just take me out in the backyard and shoot me like a lame horse. I have outlived my usefullness. He told me I had to stick around long enough to get a good insurance policy in place first. You've got to love that man!!