This week...

My little man left for two weeks. I really miss him already and I wouldn't even normally see him during the day as I work. But knowing he isn't going to be there tonight makes me miss him. And it's only Day 1....boo. Tonight heading over the my parent's for dinner to see my visiting brother and his wife as well as my nephew who is home for a month before shipping off to Germany for two years with the Army. Unfortunately SIL picked the same dish Mom just made for my birthday so that is not fun...but I'm sure I'll enjoy it regardless...just would have been nice to have something different. Don't get me wrong, free home cooked meal from Mom...always makes me happy, no matter what it is! Thursday night DH and I are going out with same brother and wife for more personal dinner at this great seafood place with awesome view. DH has to work late on Friday night and then on Saturday. So I'm on my own for 4th of July celebrations. I'm working Friday too...but Saturday will be quiet. I think we're going to try and see the fireworks if DH is not too exhausted from a busy day.

Finally heard from the Pain Management doctor's office. I had told my doctor's office I wanted to go to a different doctor, but I guess they felt I needed to get in soon and this one had the most recent openings. I am going next Tuesday...so I have another week of grinning and bearing it. DH keeps asking me if I am upset with him or depressed. I don't think he understands the pain I am in or how it affects everything I do. Especially since I don't get to not do things that have to be done...even if I am in pain! I have tried doing more with my right hand, but it's not what I'm used to. So I have to "correct" myself all the time and by then I've done it with my left! I'm terrified to go the this new doctor, but am also anxious to go and am praying they can bring me relief and pretty quickly. It's been 2 months and I'm not sure how much more I can handle.

Enough is enough...

::waves white flag:: I give up! I'm done. I hurt so bad and am sick of not feeling well. I'm on Day 4 of pain meds which take the edge off for alittle bit, but make me constipated something fierce. It's horrible. I can't go to save my life. It's painful and nothing I do helps. I've been waiting and waiting for the Pain Management doctor's office to call me to set up an appointment. Doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling that they can't even handle contacting me for this long. What are they going to be like to deal with on a regular bases. Doesn't make me happy to think that this is the beginning of another horrible doctor's office and thier useless staff. I worked in a doctor's office. I know what should and can be done to help a patient. We had 1/2 hour to contact a patient when they requested it. FOUR DAYS!! Come on now. Seriously? I don't like this office and I haven't even been there yet. And the possibility of shots in my back...which I've been told is a very distinct possibility does nothing to alleviate my fear and uncomfortableness. My girlfriend tells me this is a good thing, and I'm holding on tight to that thought, praying she is correct and it makes the pain go away without putting me through too much pain to do it!

James...

is turning 7 on Sunday! I can't believe it. He is getting to be alittle man. Not the little baby I first met. It's insanity. Where is the time going and how do I get it back? He's still small enough to snuggle into all the nooks and crannies...I hope that never changes! Jimmy and I decided to take his birthday away from my MIL. She always did a BBQ or cake and something for his birthday. But this year I said I want it. So we are shopping out hearts out tonight getting all the food and supplies and his gift(s). Then tomorrow we are cleaning till we drop. His Mom (my Mom is out of town so she won't be there) will see every little speck you miss...so I can't miss. We also have to make the cake and prep all the food. Marinate the chicken and set up the beans so I just have to turn the slow cooker on Sunday morning when I get up. Decorate the screened porch with streamers and balloons. James asked if he could have those awesome confetti poppers again this year. He loves the sound and the mess. The first year I surprised him with them he had no idea what to do with them. Then when Jimmy cleaned it up and threw the "waste" away, I thought James was going to lose his pants. He was so upset at seeing the confetti and streamers in the garbage. Poor thing. I think he'll handle it better this year :) I cancelled doing something exciting for my birthday to have time and funds to make his day perfect. I can't wait to see his little face!! Love it.

So much fun...

Busch Gardens rocked! We had so much fun. Granted we got trapped by the down pour that lasted for 30 minutes...but even that couldn't drown our fun. There were not alot of people there to begin with...I guess the pending thunderstorms made people weary. We actually had areas that we walked through and were the only people there. It was like being at our own private park and we loved it. Then came the rain and half of the already small group of attendies left as well and it was almost empty. We never waited more than 20 minutes for a ride and my neice kept telling us she had never seen this or done this...alot of times because the wait was normally too long. So that was fun. James' favorite ride was the Roaring Rapids. The big raft that we all went white water rafting down in. I seemed to be the favorite soaking target and nothing could have made James happier. He loved that I got it first and last. It continues to be his favorite part of the day. Momma getting soaked first! The little terror. But we had an amazing time and saw some wonderful animals and were thoroughly exhausted by the end of the day. The kids were asleep before we hit the highway and James didn't wake up till we were putting his jammies on to go to bed. Perfect. But Jimmy owes me big time. He promised me an old fashion photo at Busch Gardens since I was supposed to pick the park and he wanted to go to this park instead. And not only didn't they have this available (I can't blame him for that...) but he also kept putting me off for a "family" photo of all of us, so we never ended up taking one. We have none to show for the day of all of us. We always take a group shot...and now I don't have one...he is so dead! No...I'll just hold it over his head till he makes it up to me...who am I kidding...I won't do a damn thing about it. I'm such a wimp!

Another short week...

Thursday is my birthday. I took off Friday for a lazy day and Jimmy ended up having it off because he worked on Saturday. So we switched our Busch Gardens trip to Friday when it will be less crowded. So excited. I can't wait to get there. Animals, and water rides, and roller coasters (not for me!) and antique photos, and carnival games, and all sorts of fun! Oh my!!

Memorial Day...

I hope everyone had an amazing holiday weekend. I had a nice one. Busy, but nice. My godson graduated on Friday night from HS (the first senior class!) and God let the sun shine for the first time in 10 days for them. Perfect. Then his BBQ party on Saturday. Rain was not as cooperative...but we still could play bags and the kids could swim...so it was a good day.

Monday I alternated between hiding from and catering to two 7 year olds. At the end of the day, I could not hold my tongue any longer and finally corrected his little friend with "I"m sorry, did you mean no thank you?". My own son was more polite towards me then his guest. Manners, when did they stop teaching them to kids? But they had a great day. Jimmy and I moved the coffee table, set up the wii and let them go to town. They had a ball! I love the sound of kids playing and laughing. Nothing better.

Short week this week. And short week next week! Yippee. Jimmy works late duty this week and Saturday...but I just realized that means he'll be off on Friday with me. More fun. It's worth feeling like a single mom for the week to have a long weekend with him next weekend. Or so I say at the moment. Ask me tomorrow morning...

Two week wait...

And not the kind you expect! In two weeks it's my birthday. Then two days later we are off to Busch Gardens to celebrate James and I. His birthday is 10 days after mine. My neice is joining us for this outing so Jimmy has a ride buddy and I don't have to feel guilty for not wanting to go on them with him! And since I was supposed to pick the park this time and let him instead...he promised me an old fashion photo shoot. I can't wait. It's going to be so fun and I have always wanted to do one. Yippee. Love it. So much fun stuff.

Tonight my godson graduates as the first Senior class for his HS (new school) and tomorrow is his graduation party. Should be fun seeing family that I don't get to see often. As well as one or two out of town/staters visiting. Nice.

Somewhere in here Jimmy and I will go on our adult-only date for my birthday. We usually do an "activity" or show or play sort of thing rather than a gift. I decided I wanted to finally do a boat cruise dinner. I had always wanted to do one in Chicago with the amazing scenery and never had someone in my life I wanted to do it with. Jimmy and James and I saw one when we were out for our Mother's Day dinner and it reminded me that I have always wanted to do that. So I'm looking forward to that as well. Not sure when that will fall...I'm guessing the weekend after Busch. But we'll see.

James is leaving us for 10 days again this summer to head up to NC with Nani and Pa to the cabin. I miss him so much when he's gone a day...let alone 10. My little man. House seems to quiet and empty without his little voice. "Hey Momma" "Daddy"...best sounds in the world!

So that means Jimmy and I will be alone for the 4th of July. Hmm. What to do...what to do?

And the medical saga continues...

I swear I am falling apart before my very eyes. So I switched Primary doctors due to some personalities complaints about my previous dr.'s staff. I expected them to care about me as a human and they expected me to call 10 to 12 times and cry before they would do anything. So I switched and went to my meet and greet. Told her about my back and what is going on and that my dr. had me going to a chiropracter for it. No improvement thus far. She told me that after a month I should feel some relief if that was going to work. So go another week or two and then call her if I was not "better". I'm not. In fact, the day of and after the treatments I feel like hell and they are the most painful days of all. So I was getting frustrated. Now I'm waiting to hear back from the imaging facility to set up an MRI. I have convinced myself that it's a tumor or something horrible. I can't even tell Jimmy as he is a think positive kind of guy and would not appreciate me expecting the worst or scariest scenario. He would totally support me, but he thinks I'm a pessimist (I'm actually a realist!) so I don't like to let him see anything that will fuel that belief. So I'm putting it yet again in God's hands and praying that it is something small and minor and easily "fixed" and I can stop having pain and seeing doctors every week and move forward. I feel like I move from one dr. to the next and back again. It's like an ugly dance I don't want to participate in anymore!! Make the music stop...PLEASE!!